Ask Ellen


Does cock size matter?

I could tell you my preference but I think that would be too personal and wouldn’t answer your question. I do, however, think most women would agree that the size of the cock does not matter.  It is more a matter of whether or not you know how to use it and the way in which it performs. Don’t judge a book by its cover is what I always say. That being said, it depends on the woman. Some women like the feeling of a larger cock, some don’t and would prefer it not hurt every time. It all comes down to the woman and what she’s looking for, talk to her and find out what she likes with regards to sex and try to make that happen for her.


Loneliness and isolation is the most common issue amongst the student body. I feel like the small number of friends I do have here really don’t understand me the way that my friends did back at home. How can I find friends here at Acadia that I click with?

I have had a hard time with this myself. It’s difficult when you leave somewhere so familiar with such familiar people you have known for quite a long time, to come to a foreign place where you need to start over. If you wish to find more friends and branch out, I would recommend joining something you like to do. Enjoying what you’re doing is half the battle, because if you’re having a good time chances are the people around you will too. I used to hate when people told me to join clubs and groups at Acadia because I thought it wasn’t my thing and sounded a bit dorky but look at me now, writing advice in the school newspaper. I am new to the scene but have already met some people I never would have if I didn’t join the team and I am clicking with them already. Though lonely, try going out more, not necessarily to the Vil but there’s fun trivia nights at the Axe and Main Street has some amazing little shops and coffee joints. Your people are out there and I know you will find them. There are always new and more people to meet.


What happens when I pull the anal beads out too fast?

I do not know from experience, and this is not a one hundred percent guarantee, but I would say you poop. This would not be a good idea to try, might hurt quite a bit, but if that’s what you’re into then by all means, pull the shit out of those anal beads. Pun intended.


I just came here for the second question. Who the fuck is Ellen?

I’m a student by day, and whoever you want to be at night.


I am your daughter.


After ending a long-term relationship year, I started seeing someone new. He’s a great guy, but over the past few weeks I’ve realized that I still have feelings for my ex. To me, this suggests that I have to work through my feelings a little more and take some time for myself to figure out what I want. How do I end things with the new guy in a respectful manner? Should I tell him the truth about why I want to break up?

I am a very honest person and I always believe honesty is the best policy; therefore, with this, I would definitely tell this new guy about the reason you want to break up. The worst thing to do is hold it in. This isn’t your fault, there was absolutely nothing you could do to prevent this or bring it on. Feelings are feelings and unfortunately that is the way things go. With regards to how to end things in a respectful manner: if you really like this guy and there could be a chance that you will start seeing him again down the line I would let him know that, that way at least he isn’t fully losing you. Just tell him it was too soon and your emotions hadn’t really sunk in until recently about your ex, there’s only so much a human body can handle and you need time for yourself. Time is the most important thing, you have to feel good about yourself before sharing yourself with anyone else. If this guy is really a great guy like you say then he should understand, might be hurt, but will understand. If he reacts in a way that hurts you more or makes you feel worse or causes anger, he isn’t the guy you thought he was and is not worth your time. Good luck.


Am I addicted to sex?

When you are addicted to something it interferes with your day to day activities and life. For example, if sex is getting in the way of going to class, walking your dog, getting assignments done on time, family, friends, sleep, you may be addicted to it. I would recommend that you see a therapist if you are seriously debating whether you are addicted to sex or anything for that matter. I am not an expert and therefore cannot give you a definite answer.


Me and this girl like each other but I like her more than she does me. She says she can’t promise me that we will date but I want to. Should I keep trying or move on?

Simply put, this happens a lot. If she is worth it (and I mean really worth it to you) keep trying. If she has clearly given you clues that she is not into you then move on. But if she likes you and says she can’t promise that you will date that could be for a number of reasons. They might be valid reasons OR it might be because she doesn’t know how to tell you she isn’t into you. You have to listen to the signs. To whoever this is about, stop sucking and either give the guy or girl a valid reason as to why you won’t promise a relationship or date them. To the writer of this question, you should be able to tell from her whether or not she is interested enough to keep pursuing things.


How do you politely tell someone to shut their face hole or at least lower their voice when they tell extremely personal stories in the lib? Usually, they want you to respond with your juicy deets and I always feel uncomfortable telling secrets in the lib because we all know you can hear each other. K thanks, biiiiii.

If this is a friend of yours, no need to be polite, just tell them to shut up and do their work cause you’re trying to do yours. If they want you to tell them some juicy deets back, just change the subject and discuss the work you’re doing in front of you. Oh yeah that sucks, but you know what else sucks, having to write a paper on the issues in American politics. I could write shit for days but I’m not actually able to write anything right now because you’re using the hole in your face to make noise and distract me with stuff I don’t give a fuck about. Or something like that. If this is about people who are sitting next to you but you don’t know them, tell them to keep it down or move the conversation elsewhere. Or if you are a shy person then get up and move to the upper levels where there is no talking. Honestly, I usually just put my headphones in because people bug me no matter what they’re talking about. K you’re welcome, biiiiii.




How to stay positive in hard times

This is a question I could write an entire paper on. There is no simple answer or one answer to this question. I can say that everyone goes through hard times, that is a fact, some more than others but find comfort in knowing you are not alone with this. Depending on what kind of person you are and what makes you feel better, talking about the hard times is a way to find closure and confide in others in order to get perspective and advice. Friends and family are a huge factor in how to stay positive. They can be the reason you are going through hard times but they can also be the reason to bring you out of feeling down about them. Though it will be almost impossible to get up and do things during hard times, force yourself to at least do one thing a day that will make you smile and laugh. Do things and surround yourself with things you like to do. Surround yourself with love. Dogs help me, so does Ellen DeGeneres, she makes me feel hopeful during hard times, would 150% recommend. Hang in there, though it might not seem like it will ever end, trust me I can relate, it will definitely become more positive.


What do you think the general protocol is for liking a cute person’s instagrams? Should it be consistent to show interest? Or on and off – hard to play hard to get/cold shoulder approach? Originally, they didn’t like my posts, then recently they consistently liked lots of them, THEN skipped on a few lately. I am leaning towards just liking their posts more than not because YOLO and I’m good for the like sooooo yeah. I also feel like I am looking WAY too much into this. Help.

Very interesting question anon. I feel as though this is a very relevant question in our technological day and age, so thank you for this. I would have to say, why the subtlety at all? Don’t hold back, if he or she is cute then they deserve those likes. Be the bro that gives someone another like, bitches love likes and that goes for guys too. Only give likes to the deserving pictures though, if they start posting some awful shit no need to chuck them a like but if that is deserving shit then reward them. Make a move dude, slide into those DM’s if you think they’re that cute that you want to see where things go. I do however think you are thinking too much into this because your answer is simple: giv’er.



If you are struggling with anything and need some advice from an expert or professional, please seek help. There are many ways to find this, some found on campus are at the Student Health Centre.

Keep sending in funny, serious, dire questions about sex, relationships, school, family, life etc.

Be kind to one another,


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