Last Ever Brew Review: Nine Lock ESB

This is it, eh? This is gonna be the last Jon Smith beer review for the Athenaeum. It’s been a good two years of this complete nonsense, so writing my last article is kind of bittersweet. Thanks to Andrew Haskett for being an absolute madman, and to Kody Crowell for stuff. I can’t wait to see what kind of stupid title you bastards have for me on this final article. Today I’m reviewing the Nine Lock Extra Special Bitter, because I’m very bitter but I’m also very special according to some choice relatives.

The beer pours an amber brown, like contaminated water but much tastier. On the nose there are hints of light caramel, and a mild nutty/oaky kind of scent. The mouthfeel is standard and inoffensive, with some pesky bitterness poking its head through. There is a slight unpleasant sourness to the beer but I’m sure if I was much drunker I’d mind it less, like being at the Vil or watching live folk. The taste is very nutty, with more of that caramel taste coming through and a hint of chocolate. The maltiness is strong here, giving it that characteristic English ale vibe. The body sits solidly in the nook between light and dark, like Kylo Ren or Obama. The aftertaste holds a trace of grassy hoppy bitterness, and what I imagine wood tastes like.

This beer is alright, I guess. I probably should have chosen a more flamboyant and wild beer to end off my reviews. It’s the kind of beer I’d have after a good long day at the factory when I take the tram into town and sit down with my chaps at the pub just having a laugh about the absolute rubbish Manchester United score last night. Even though I’ve never been to England, there’s something identically English about this type of beer – it awakens the blood of my extremely white ancestors. Far be it from me to ignore such a calling, so I’m off to get even more drunk (drunker?). Hope you had a good year!

Pairs well with: Fish and chips, loud parliamentary politics

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