Tag: Trans

Coming out: My Story

Coming out is hard regardless of whether it be relates to your gender identity or sexual orientation. On February 20th 2018, I finally accepted my sexual orientation as a bisexual individual. This was the part of a multi-year process filled with confusion, pain, and also excitement.
In grade eight, I was a happy young hockey player without a care in the world – besides a naive dream of making it to the National Hockey League. It had been a rough year, and I had been the subject of bullying and hazing among my team mates. One of the many slurs I was subjected to was “gay” and team mates often made jokes about me liking men and wanting to join them in the shower. Then one day things escalated drastically – before practice I was sexually assaulted by a team mate. It happened again on another occasion, and I went into a depressive whirlwind before I finally broke down to my parents one night. I am super thankful I had them as supports, but the event left me hurt, isolated, and confused. I did not enjoy what happened, but it opened my eyes to the possibility that some individuals liked the opposite sex, a notion that was foreign to me in the conservative town I called home.
I arrived at Acadia in a fresh environment free from my past connections and was free to create my own story. At Acadia, I could reinvent myself, or perhaps even find out who I truly was. On one of my first days here I met a transitioning trans gender individual who I eyed suspiciously. Today I am proud to call this individual a friend and am thankful for the exposure and advocacy they have gave to the LGBTQ+ community. Soon enough, I too began to question my identity, specifically regarding whether I was sexually attracted to both men and women; or in other words, bisexual.
The “gay” name calling greeted me at Acadia, and I was told time and time again that there was no way I could be straight because: 1) I was too nice 2) I dressed nice and did my hair and 3) I only hung out with girls. These were actual stereotypes I was met with, and I think its crazy that in 2014 (and today) people feel the need to label others. These labels made me confused because they were all true, but I wasn’t too sure about how I felt about men. For one, I was girl crazy, and had had a girlfriend all through high school. I could admit a guy was attractive because the majority of my friends were girls, and as such I had to hear about their crushes. Sure, I was also nice, but wasn’t that how you’re supposed to be? I may have dressed nice and did my hair, but I did this for me – not anyone else. How was this even relevant? Was I really different than other guys? The internal struggle of wondering how I felt, if it was okay to be gay, and how others saw me followed me throughout first year.
In second year, another break through occurred as I met an amazing man, friend, and mentor – who happened to be gay. This mentor taught me that not only was it okay to be gay, but it didn’t need to be confusing. He told me that figuring out your sexual identity should be about you and requires no timeline or approval from others. Your happiness alone is the most important thing, and the opinions of others do not matter. This individual took the time to listen to my stories and perspectives and was open about his experience which I found very reassuring. I was also exposed to a significant amount of gay and bi culture during this time, and I began to think that perhaps I was bi after all. I had a great relationship at the start this year, and I joked about my sexuality with this girl, but I couldn’t quite admit to her how I felt. I wish I had.
Fast forward to the present year, and I finally began to accept who I am. I’m lucky to have many LGBTQ+ friends and their courage and strength helped inspire me and guide me. After I became single I finally was able to force myself out my comfort zone, and I am proud to say that I have accepted who I am. It hasn’t been easy as I faced judgment from some peers, was questioned on social media, and even woke to a message stating “bi isn’t something you come out as”, but this just emphasizes the importance of sharing my story and advocating for LGBTQ+ rights. I am very fortunate to have supportive family and friends. For anyone who is currently questioning either their gender or sexual identity, I promise that it will be okay, and I wish you all the best in your journey. If you take the time to figure how you feel, and are confident, and focus on you then things will fall into place. We are lucky to attend a great school with a supportive environment. I too am here for you and am always available to talk. Thank you for reading my story, and remember – love is love!
March 26, 2018
Transition Q&A with Acadia PRIDE
What comes to mind when someone talks about Hormone Replacement Therapy? For most people, they immediately think about a person they know that has gone through the process. Overall, people know about the fact that it helps a person appear as the gender that they identify as.
What are some of the major risks of undergoing Hormone Replacement Therapy?
“The major risks that I’m aware of socially involve that awkward middle ground of “not quite passing”, especially in the case of trans feminine women. Violence and rape is a possibility for many, especially when trying to access gendered spaces. Of course, there’s also the risk of social isolation that could come if family or friends pull away from someone. Medically, all the usual issues associated with HRT and surgery. I think trans masculine people may have a higher risk of uterine/ovarian cancer, but not certain.”
Can you elaborate on that?
“Sometimes, the things you know that are going to happen go quicker than you expect, or not in the order you were anticipating. Like on average for trans masculine people, facial hair tends to start around 1 year-ish, but if it started sooner than you were expecting, it’d probably be a surprise. Plus the voice starts to crack and drop, just like cis boys in puberty, so that could be a surprise when it starts happening. Again, that’s really individual to the person as the HRT generally provides a lot of the same things to expect for people.”
Is it easy to get access to medication?
“No. I know people who’ve gotten it easily and some that haven’t. In general, the indications I’ve seen is that it’s generally a pain. Of course, that’s also dependent on where you live as some places will be more liberal than others.”
What are some of the emotional changes that occur?
“Generally, I wouldn’t talk about emotional changes as those aren’t consistent with everyone and are individualized. I have know a few women to feel more emotional, but that could also be connected to the actual social transition of suddenly being “acceptable” to cry because society tells men to shut up their feelings. To be fair, assuming people will have huge emotional shifts because of HRT is like assuming every cis women is emotional because of their period.”
What are some ways that Acadia supports trans students?
“Not dealing with a transition, I can’t per say. I can say that my legal name isn’t Taylor and I’ve been having a fight to get someone to even talk to me let alone do anything about using the forums on Acorn which is required for my class, but if I use them, I show everyone my legal name.”
If a student at Acadia was interested in transitioning, where should they go for more resources?
“I’m personally non-binary as a broad term. For resources, they could either come to the Women’s Centre or Pride on campus. I’m told there are also two very trans friendly doctor’s at the Mud Creek clinic, but I can’t remember their names.”
Could you talk about what it’s like to be non-binary?
“It’s a broad term, so my experience isn’t necessarily standard. I don’t feel at all like I’m a woman/girl/female the vast majority of the time, but I also don’t feel like I’m a man/boy/male though on the spectrum of one to the other, I definitely fall more strongly towards being masculine than feminine.”
Can you elaborate some more on that?
“If you consider the idea of being a guy or a girl on a 1-5 axis with 1 being a guy and 5 being a girl, I’d consider myself somewhere around the 1.5-2 range. I have occasional dysphoria (discomfort with my body because it doesn’t match the idea in my head of what it should be like). Sometimes I also just feel neutral like I’m smack dab at the 3.”
Can you explain what this dysphoria feels like?
“Mostly I’m not always comfortable with my breasts being touched. I had someone slide their hand up my chest once and I kind of felt almost confused that there was a “bump” instead of it being smooth. Luckily, I have a really small chest, so it’s not as bad as I’m sure it could be.”
At what age do most individuals experience dysphoria for the first time?
“There’s no standard. I mean, there can be a general feeling of something’s off, but plenty of people don’t realize what it is until they’re much older. Some people never have dysphoria in their lives. Not all transgender people have dysphoria and that’s important to remember as some are denied access because they aren’t “disturbed enough” with their bodies. For more information on gender dysphoria, check out: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria”
Is there anything else you’d like to add?
“Transition is a very individual process. Some people never get medical procedures, even HRT. The discussion on transition should always include social as well and should focus on what the individual wants. All forms of transition are good transition. There is no “end point” that anyone needs to reach to be who they are.”
Disclaimer: All of the medical transition information in this article is second-hand. For more information, speak to a doctor.

March 10, 2017

Tag: Trans

Coming out: My Story

Transition Q&A with Acadia PRIDE