I did it to feel alive –
the air is heavy and wet
a humid paradise.
Tendrils of forsythia shudder in the breeze
golden leaves and pink petals leech into the sky.
There is always a stranger involved –
otherwise, where’s the high?
I did it because I didn’t know what else to do.
Promises were whispered in the balmy dusk:
Don’t worry – I vow – I’ll do it again
for once is never enough.
I did it because I was compelled to –
because nothing else feels real
I did it because there’s no one else
and no other way to feel.
Note: This poem is part of our Fall 2020 Print Edition that focuses on Women Health and Sexuality. Look across campus for a paper copy of this edition!