Connecting with people is difficult, especially in this day and age of hookup apps like Tinder and Grindr. No longer does it feel socially acceptable to just go up to someone and ask them for coffee or out for dinner. As the one who is being asked on a date, are you expected to put out if the other person pays? Is the other person supposed to pay? With all of this in mind, how are you supposed to connect with the person you’re on a date with?

Take Tinder: it has thousands of users and is notoriously known as a hook up app. If you’re there looking for a friend or a relationship, the fact that you’re finding them through a hookup app puts the pressure of sex front and center, even in the case that you do end up going out with them. Sometimes, swiping left doesn’t mean you don’t like them. Maybe you want to wait to meet them before you hint sexual attraction. And if you do meet up with them, it can be difficult establishing whether it’s going to be a one night thing, or a real connection. Having that conversation after only meeting online is not only hard, it’s downright intimidating.

Sometimes, I hear people complaining about the new way that dating comes about: sleep together first, then decide whether or not you want to have a relationship. However, when it comes down to it, it shouldn’t matter in which order you do things. The most important part of a relationship is mutual connection to one another. So in my opinion, go for it, ask that guy or girl out for a cup of coffee, dance with them at that party, or send them that cheesy pick-up line on Tinder. Because in the end, we’re all just looking for someone else to share cool experiences and time with.