It’s your first day of school, and your teacher’s really nice.
She gives you a piece of paper and tells you to write
About what you want to be when you grow up.
You don’t know the answer, so you put “Ballerina”
Just like everyone else, and draw a prettier version of yourself
In a tutu, and a big smile on your face.
Then in grade one, your teacher plays the clarinet
And she asks you if you know what you want to be yet.
This time you write “Singer”, because that’s what made you happy…
Singing when your parents fought, and when you found out
Your dad cheated on your mother, and tried to take your brother,
So she punched him in the face.
In fact, each year after that, they continue to ask you
What it is you want to be, and you can never decide but
You know you have to eventually, and your mom says
You’re smart, so you can be a doctor, lawyer, a teacher,
Or anything you want.
Then, in grade four, you have your first “love”,
You try to make friends, but they never really stay,
You got used to your mom not being around,
And your dad keeps forgetting your birthday.
Every day, you go home to empty cupboards,
And a new babysitter, sure to leave
Because your mom lost her job, and can’t pay the fee.
She hides in her room, with some guy you had a bad feeling about,
from the second he walked into your house.
You lie to your brother and sister: “Mommy’s alright”
But she’s losing weight fast, and you haven’t slept in nights
And who are these people, always knocking on the door?
Asking if you’re home alone, and you know they know you’re lying but
you don’t know where your mom got those bruises,
And why she’s always crying.
After grade six, you’re at a new school, in a new place,
And you no longer live with your mom,
She ran away to be with that guy, and you found out
She smoked crack cocaine. No one will tell you what that is,
You just know it’s a bad thing, and the kids
Keep calling you names, like slut, and whore.
You’re bullied senselessly, and start to realize that thirteen
Isn’t what you hoped for anymore.