Chia Pets vs. Neopets

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(www.neopets.com)

Chia Pets take 2-3 weeks to grow, and this wheel will probably take that long to stop spinning.

Ch-ch-ch Chia! Spread the seeds and watch them grow! It’s like a metaphor for love and friendship, but with the simplest, catchiest five-syllable jingle. Who wouldn’t want to watch the seeds of love grow into Scooby Doo’s afro? Joseph Enterprises has even been keen and innovative enough to introduce emoji Chia Pets (no eggplant emoji available). There’s also splendid selections for CNN enthusiasts in the Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich pets (not forgetting the “Freedom of Choice” Barack Obama pet). My favourites still might be the chia beards on Duck Dynasty characters Willie and Uncle Si. Chia Pets might seem a bit old school right now, but they’re keeping their heads in the game with all of these hip new additions to their line of products. I bet their new Spiderman pet even has Andrew Garfield underneath.

Sorry old pets. I created a new account, chiapetadmirer, on Neopets by connecting with Facebook (so fresh). The first thing I did was take my little penguin “Pingruel” to grab a piece of that giant juicy omelette. While at the plateau, I stopped by the “Wheel of Monotony.” It costs 150 Neopoints to spin, and it takes foooorrrreeeevvvveeeerrrr. Talk about metaphors for life – this is a perfect example of monotonous delayed gratification. After a few minutes, the wheel still hasn’t stopped spinning. It just keeps ticking away.

Neopets doesn’t seem to have updated all that much since I was a pre-pre-teen, but I guess they didn’t have to. They already have a lot of things nailed down – I mean, my life is basically just living off of omelettes and waiting for the wheel of monotony to stop spinning. There’s other things to explore in Neopets and in life, but I’m just going to keep sitting here listening to the ticking of that wheel. Not because I necessarily want the reward, but the bias of having already put in sizeable amounts of time and effort would make it feel like a waste to stop now.

The wheel is still ticking. Do kids have patience for this?

Despite the ability of Chia Pets to be fresh with beards, they don’t make me as reflective as Neopets did within the first five minutes of logging in. I haven’t even played a game or leveled up little Pingruel at all yet, and I’m already stuck in some metaphorical treadmill. I guess you could call the game pretty captivating. I feel like I would forget about a Chia Pet, but the ticking of this wheel is much more persistent as it is driving itself into my brain. I guess if you want a bit less of a commitment, Chia Pets, or even actual pets, are better options than Neopets. However, if you’re looking for a dark void to gaze into, Neopets is for you.

Adam Langille

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