Cringeworthy Countdown: The Worst Fads of 2017

Have you ever opened Facebook or Instagram only to be bombarded with pictures, articles, and videos pertaining to the latest pop culture craze? Perhaps it made you laugh, perhaps it made you die inside. I’m willing to bet that there was likely an eye roll or two. This article is for you! Here are the top 5 cringeworthy trends that made 2017 a little unbearable.  

 5. Unicorn EVERYTHING

Ah, the majestic, unique, mysterious creature that is the unicorn. Here we are in 2017, mass producing this idea. The irony is so sweet it tastes like a unicorn frap. From Starbucks to makeup trends, from hairstyles to nail art, the unicorn has inspired just about every facet of consumerism. Please tell me, why is it necessary to highlight your face with metallic pastel pinks and blues? The brand Too Faced has launched an entire line dedicated to unicorns. What this means is that everything is overwhelmingly shiny and irritating. Then there was the Starbucks Unicorn Frap epidemic, the unicorn nail trend, people walking around the world with literal unicorn horns strapped to their heads, and even unicorn horn dildos. I need this to stop. The magic has been taken out of unicorns and been replaced with sadness. Sadness for humanity. 

4. Nordstrom Barracuda PRPS Jeans 

Earlier this year, the brand Nordstrom released probably the most unnecessary pair of pants imaginable: muddy jeans. No, not actual mud but jeans that are designed to look like they have mud on them. A description from the website reads: “heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you’re not afraid to get down and dirty”. Seriously? I have a pair of jeans with real mud on them if anyone wants to buy them. I’ll even sell them at half the price of Nordstrom jeans…which would work out to be the fair price of $212! Oh yes, you read that right. That means that the Nordstrom Barracuda jeans are $425 before tax. If this isn’t ridiculous enough, the website currently has them listed as sold out which means people are buying them. Oh, but fear not! They still have the mud stain paint splatter jeans available for $345 to make it look like you’re a hard-working carpenter without having to do any sort of manual labour. Fun!

3. Squiggle Eyebrows

Squiggle eyebrows are exactly what they sound like, unfortunately. Eyebrows that are shaped in a wavy “squiggle” line. How do they stay that way, you ask? With glue. Beauty bloggers have been putting glue on their eyebrows and then shaping them into ridiculous shapes. It doesn’t stop at squiggles, either. There have been feather brows, barbed wire brows, pony tail brows, braided brows, and I’m sure the list goes on. Please stop.  

2.Fidget Spinners

It started off with the best of intentions: a device to help people who struggle with issues such as ADHD, anxiety, or autism. Then a trend erupted, and the fidget spinner went from a tool to help with concentration to a toy that distracted the user and everyone in the general vicinity. Which is a shame, because that ruined it for the people who really do find some sort of benefit from using a fidget spinner. Now the toy is banned in classrooms all over North America, and society has managed to ruin yet another potentially beneficial product because we can’t help but obsess over things.  

1.Unnecessary items on nails

I’m talking fur, pom-poms, and even succulents. Yes, like the plant. Not only is this odd, but I imagine incredibly unsanitary. Technically this trend started in 2016, but it hasn’t gone away. It’s still here, and it keeps getting more ridiculous. Gone are the days of nail polish. No, we need to be incredibly extra now and start putting random objects on our fingers like lego pieces and hair. Folks, it looks like you have trolls for fingers. I also cannot get over the idea of using the washroom with furry nails, and you all know exactly what I’m getting at. Please, for everyone’s health and safety, stop doing this.  


Special Mentions:

1. Vaping

It smells like Kool-Aid, the smoke clouds are obnoxious, and people think that because it isn’t technically smoke that they can huff and puff indoors or right in other people’s faces.  

2. Bad Movie Remakes

The Hollywood schedule for films this year included 47 remakes, reboots, and sequels. Either it’s becoming difficult to create something original, or people are just getting lazy. Editor’s advice: do not watch RingsT2 Trainspotting, or The Mummy. The only one I can recommend is It. 

3. Despacito

To be fair, it’s a catchy song. It isn’t really the song itself that annoys me so much as it is the people who try to sing it, realize that they can’t speak Spanish (or are too lazy to learn the lyrics), and just end up repeating the same word over and over. Extra annoyance bonus: thinking it’s funny to rhyme “despacito” with burrito, cheeto, mojito, dorito, taquito, etc.

I truly hope these trends are left behind in 2017 so that I can have a fresh set to complain about next year. Have I missed anything in this list? Let me know in the comments!