So, it’s that time of year again, no not Christmas, unfortunately. I’m talking about the FFC’s vote to roll back net neutrality. The FCC (Federal Communications Commission) is an independent government agency that regulates interstate communications such as radio, TV, etc. This group has been trying to roll back net neutrality in past few years. For those of you that do not know what net neutrality is, it is basically what allows a person to go on to the internet, and not have companies like AT&T, Verizon, Comcast, etc. mess with your data, or your internet speed. Net Neutrality keeps an open internet that’s free for everyone to communicate. The consequences of losing Net Neutrality will have a significant impact on the internet as a whole. These consequences include:
#1: The FCC would have the power to block sites they dislike such as anything that competes with these companies.
#2: They could make sites like YouTube payable, in other words, those music videos you watch on the weekends for free, now will cost money.
#3: It will make it extremely difficult for small companies and entrepreneurs to get off the ground to compete against these big companies.
#4: They can slow down or speed up your internet speed, and you might have to pay that company for faster internet speeds.
Overall, if this vote passes, it will be the end of a free, easy to access internet, and in its place will, will be an internet run by a few big companies. As I mentioned before, the FCC has tried to do this before as recently as 2015. If you wish to know more about this then I suggest watching John Oliver as he has two videos on the subject. Net Neutrality deals with the 2015 vote, while he has recently put up a video known as Net Neutrality II. The vote for Net Neutrality takes place DEC. 14th 2017.
We often take this for granted as this has be an open internet for as long as we can remember, but soon that may no longer be the case. However, there are a number of people, like myself, who dislike the FCC’s vote on this. At the moment, various groups are trying to stop the vote or are trying to have the vote in favour of the way things stand now.
100 years ago, an event occurred that had a massive impact on the 20th century. I am referring to the February and October revolutions of 1917 which caused the rise of communism in Russia. Wein the Westtend to remember these events, as they had a profound impact in World War 1 and beyond that, until even today, to some extent.
Russians remember these events as well (this was in their home country after all).It was a big event. So can you imagine that on the one hundredth anniversary of this event, Russia is doing… nothing to celebrate this. This mostly has to do with the country’s current leader, Vladimir Putin. To put it simply, he wants his country to forget about the Soviet Union experiment that occurred inside Russia during the 20th century.
There are a couple of reasons for this, the first being that Putin wants people to forget that an uprising took down the empire of the Russian Tsars. It is not hard to see why Putin himself would not like this, he would see this toppling of an empire as leading to a period of instability, which is right considering that after the October Revolution, Russia went into several years of civil war. Another reason Putin might have held off on the celebrations is because of the current political climate in Russia. Earlier this year there were protests in the streets which Putin cracked down on.
There is also his political opponent, known as AlexeiNavalny, who wishes to run for president in 2018. Due to the political situation, Putin understandably would not want to potentially inflame things further by reminding people of a legendary uprising resulting in the leader being forced to step down. Putin seems to be a man who values order in the way of things and the revolutions of 1917 do not reflect that value.
While Putin may be trying to forget the revolutions, there are still some people, such as a group known as Project 1917, who wish to remember November 17th 1917 and wish for the past to be remembered.
2017 was a weird year for pop culture and entertainment. There was some terrible content given to us, and we made the best of it. However, there were also some real gems among the garbage. Being the procrastinating aficionado that I am, I took it upon myself to compile my 3 favourite movies and 3 favourite TV series of 2017. What this means is that I spent an embarrassing amount of time reviewing these 6 things instead of studying for my finals.
Movies
Get Out
A horror movie with a little something extra, ‘Get Out’ was Jordan Peele’s director debut. Richard Roeper, esteemed film critic, gave the film 3½ stars, saying, “the real star of the film is writer-director Jordan Peele, who has created a work that addresses the myriad levels of racism, pays homage to some great horror films, carves out its own creative path, has a distinctive visual style—and is flat-out funny as well”. Roeper and I just happen to agree. While the official genre of ‘Get Out’ is horror, there is a wonderfully placed satirical wit present that speaks volumes about the treatment of the POC body. What sets ‘Get Out’ apart from other horror films, besides the much-needed original concept itself, is how relevant it is regarding the current state of racism in North America.
Lady Bird
Finally, a coming of age film that doesn’t make me cringe. This movie has all the drama, angst, and eye-rolling moments that one can expect from a movie about a teenage girl who is trying to find herself and, yes, there is a romantic plot line. What I love about ‘Lady Bird’, however, is that much of the focus is on the character development of the leading female role herself rather than paying a ridiculous amount of time focussing on her love interests. What is also refreshing about this movie is how the dynamic of the mother-daughter relationship is presented. The relationships are raw, the dialogue is witty and, most importantly, the events are realistic. Almost too realistic at some points, which forces the viewer to self-reflect on habits and relationships in their own lives.
Dunkirk
I am a sucker for historical movies, and this may be one of the most well-done ones I have seen. Set during the Dunkirk evacuation of World War II, this film gives the viewer three different perspectives from land, sea, and air. What makes ‘Dunkirk’ unique is that there is very little dialogue, forcing the cinematography and soundtrack to create the chaotic feel of a war movie. This movie is not just entertaining, it is art. Like any artistic endeavour, ‘Dunkirk’ proves to be just as thought provoking as it is beautiful.
Television Series
She’s Gotta Have It
Based on the Spike Lee movie by the same name (1986), Netflix has recently released the forward-thinking remake. Following the life and love of Nola Darling, a sex-positive, uncompromising, unapologetically black artist living in Brooklyn, this hard-hitting comedy both entertains and teaches. The wonderful world of Nola extends the message that ownership is not love, sexual freedom is not shameful, and sheds light on some concerning aspects of society as it exists in 2017, such as slut shaming, racism, and sexual violence. This is a must-watch.
Big Mouth
A friend recommended this to me and described it as a “Netflix original cartoon about puberty, but it’s for adults. There’s a puberty monster. It’s hilarious”. I was not sold. Then I was forced to sit down and watch it. I was obsessed. This Netflix original is hilarious, relatable, and often cringy…. but in the best way possible. It respects the changes that teenagers go through, while at the same time humiliating them. Which, if we are all being honest, is probably one of the best comedic situations to watch because we have all been there. It’s funny because it’s true, and we all know it to be true. If you’re looking for a light hearted, mind numbing, but very entertaining new cartoon to watch, give ‘Big Mouth’ a watch.
The Handmaid’s Tale
Finally, the dystopian genius of Margaret Atwood is bestowed upon us. The series is just as haunting and vivid as the novel, which is something I was incredibly impressed by. I don’t want to be that girl who says “well, the book was better” often, and I am so glad that, this time around, this isn’t the case. The series has Atwood herself as consulting producer, which may be the very reason that they haven’t completely disgraced the novel (yet). Even for those who have read the novel, there is something raw about seeing Atwood’s story acted out on screen. We, of course, imagine the horrors while we read them, but it is completely different seeing them come to life. And, like all successful dystopian stories, what you see makes you both thankful for what you have, but fearful of the possibilities. Ah, anxiety. Such a great entertainment tool.
Oh, Canada. The snow, the hockey, the wildlife, and the maple syrup. Everything about Canada is beautiful, but for some it can get confusing. Canadian stereotypes and mannerisms, it seems, have been stumping some of our international students at Acadia. We are here to answer your questions! We asked nine Acadia international students what they were most confused by, or what they’ve always wondered, about the country we call home. The following are the results.
Q: Why do Canadians eat dinner so early at 5:00 or 6:00?
Shelby: I think 6:00 is a pretty normal time for dinner. I don’t understand this question. Hayley: My roommate says the same thing. Apparently, a normal time to eat dinner is 8:00 for him and a lot of other international students, which is so late to me. I guess we eat dinner earlier because the sun sets before 5:00 most months out of the year, and I’m in hibernation mode. Please do not disrupt my already disrupted schedule. Shelby: Oh, that makes sense! See, we’re learning about ourselves. I didn’t even know this was a Canadianism.
Q: Why do Canadians say “sorry” all the time?
Shelby: I don’t think this is a thing. Sorry, I just don’t. Hayley: Dude… Shelby: Can we keep this out of the article? Hayley: Nope. Sorry. Shelby: Maybe we’re just really polite people. Isn’t that the stereotype? Hayley: Maybe, but I think it’s a little bit more than that. Shelby:Yeah it seems like a cultural thing. Like, saying sorry is supposed to be an admission of guilt, isn’t it? Are Canadians just really guilty people? Hayley: Most of the time, when I say “sorry”, it’s sarcastic. If you bump into me, and it is clearly not my fault I’m going to say “sorry” to you. But what I mean is something like: “oh, I’m so sorry for existing in your vicinity. Watch where you’re going”. But because that’s super aggressive, I’ll just say the word sorry. Does that make sense? Shelby: Yeah. I do that, too. Did we just discover that Canadians aren’t super polite but just super passive aggressive? Our saying sorry isn’t an admission of guilt at all, it’s a weird way of making other people feel guilty. Or maybe that’s just us. Hayley: Fun fact: Ontario has a law that limits liability to people who apologize a lot. It’s called The Apology Act, 2009. I’m not even kidding. It’s designed to give lawyers a fair chance at defending people who apologized profusely about the crime they are said to have committed. Shelby: This gives a whole new meaning to sorry not sorry.
Q: Why do Canadians put ketchup on everything?
Shelby: Because it’s delicious. Next question.
Q: Y’all are so nice all the time! Don’t you ever get angry?
Hayley:I’m not, though. I have the opposite problem where everyone thinks I’m angry all the time. Shelby: Canadians in general are really nice, though. At least out here. In Ontario, not so much. I’m not sure about Western Canada. Hayley: I feel like most of these stereotypes are based off a comparison between us and the States. I’m not saying that Americans are inherently mean, just like Canadians aren’t inherently nice. But Canada does seem to be compared to the States a lot, so maybe that’s where this is coming from. Shelby: We’re nice until you piss us off, but then we’ll just say sorry and have a beer with you.
Q: So. Much. Plaid. Why?
Hayley:It doesn’t really help that we go to a school where our mascot is an axe wielding and plaid wearing person. Shelby: The plaid stereotype is one I can get behind. It’s warm. It’s classic. Hayley: I think I only own 6 or 7 plaid shirts. That isn’t a lot. Is it? Shelby:It’s quite a few, yeah. Hayley: I could use more, honestly. Shelby: Bottom line: plaid is warm, it goes with everything, and it looks good on everyone.
Q: Are you aware that Tim Horton’s coffee is terrible?
Hayley:I will always love Tim’s coffee, but yes, I am aware that it isn’t the best. Shelby: How do you take your coffee? Hayley: Black. You? Shelby:Double Double! Ew, how can you drink it black? Hayley:I’m sorry, but how can you taint coffee with cream and sugar? Shelby: Are you actually sorry? Hayley: Nope.
Q: Use as many Canadian slang terms as you can in 5 sentences.
Shelby:It was a great day for hay, so me and the boys went for a rip and ended up hangin’ a larry and put the truck right in the rhubarb. Hayley: Ya musta been givin’r! What were ya doin’, a buck 20? Anything slower is pert’ near ten-ply. Shelby:Well, buddy was tryin’ ta light a dart but his flow got in the way and next thing ya know my double double is all over the rig! Hayley: Sounds like he needs ta figure it out, eh? Shelby: I think we went over 5 sentences, but I could do this all day. Hayley: Mayzel.
Q: Why do you use “uh-huh” or “yep” instead of “you’re welcome”?
Hayley:Oh, this is a good question and it’s something I’m guilty of for sure. Shelby:A lot of older people aren’t going to agree with me on this, but I think saying you’re welcome is just a bit off. Like, snide. You know? Hayley: I feel that. Saying uh-huh or yep as a response just implies ‘no problem’. Like, no need to thank me, this wasn’t a problem for me to do for you. Shelby:Yes! And for me, saying ‘you’re welcome’ is a tad bit conceited. Like, yes, I did you a favour and I’m awesome, so you should totally be thankful. You’re welcome to my kindness. Hayley:I generally reserve saying ‘you’re welcome’ for older people because I know if I say ‘no problem’, I’m getting a side eye. Shelby: I don’t think this is Canadian thing, I think this is a generational thing.
Q: Canadians drink a lot of beer. What are the best Canadian beers?
Hayley: There are way too many to choose from. Let’s stick with top 3 for each of us, and leave out craft. Shelby:I’m going to say Alexander Keith’s, Sleeman’s, and Moosehead. Hayley:Old Style Pilsner, Molson Ex, and Rickard’s Red.
Those are all the questions we have! If you want to know about any other Canadianisms, be sure to email us at [email protected] . Let us make sense of the great white north so you don’t have to.
Have you ever opened Facebook or Instagram only to be bombarded with pictures, articles, and videos pertaining to the latest pop culture craze? Perhaps it made you laugh, perhaps it made you die inside. I’m willing to bet that there was likely an eye roll or two. This article is for you! Here are the top 5 cringeworthy trends that made 2017 a little unbearable.
5. Unicorn EVERYTHING
Ah, the majestic, unique, mysterious creature that is the unicorn. Here we are in 2017, mass producing this idea. The irony is so sweet it tastes like a unicorn frap. From Starbucks to makeup trends, from hairstyles to nail art, the unicorn has inspired just about every facet of consumerism. Please tell me, why is it necessary to highlight your face with metallic pastel pinks and blues? The brand Too Faced has launched an entire line dedicated to unicorns. What this means is that everything is overwhelmingly shiny and irritating. Then there was the Starbucks Unicorn Frap epidemic, the unicorn nail trend, people walking around the world with literal unicorn horns strapped to their heads, and even unicorn horn dildos. I need this to stop. The magic has been taken out of unicorns and been replaced with sadness. Sadness for humanity.
4. Nordstrom Barracuda PRPS Jeans
Earlier this year, the brand Nordstrom released probably the most unnecessary pair of pants imaginable: muddy jeans. No, not actual mud but jeans that are designed to look like they have mud on them. A description from the website reads: “heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you’re not afraid to get down and dirty”. Seriously? I have a pair of jeans with real mud on them if anyone wants to buy them. I’ll even sell them at half the price of Nordstrom jeans…which would work out to be the fair price of $212! Oh yes, you read that right. That means that the Nordstrom Barracuda jeans are $425 before tax. If this isn’t ridiculous enough, the website currently has them listed as sold out which means people are buying them. Oh, but fear not! They still have the mud stain paint splatter jeans available for $345 to make it look like you’re a hard-working carpenter without having to do any sort of manual labour. Fun!
3. Squiggle Eyebrows
Squiggle eyebrows are exactly what they sound like, unfortunately. Eyebrows that are shaped in a wavy “squiggle” line. How do they stay that way, you ask? With glue. Beauty bloggers have been putting glue on their eyebrows and then shaping them into ridiculous shapes. It doesn’t stop at squiggles, either. There have been feather brows, barbed wire brows, pony tail brows, braided brows, and I’m sure the list goes on. Please stop.
2.Fidget Spinners
It started off with the best of intentions: a device to help people who struggle with issues such as ADHD, anxiety, or autism. Then a trend erupted, and the fidget spinner went from a tool to help with concentration to a toy that distracted the user and everyone in the general vicinity. Which is a shame, because that ruined it for the people who really do find some sort of benefit from using a fidget spinner. Now the toy is banned in classrooms all over North America, and society has managed to ruin yet another potentially beneficial product because we can’t help but obsess over things.
1.Unnecessary items on nails
I’m talking fur, pom-poms, and even succulents. Yes, like the plant. Not only is this odd, but I imagine incredibly unsanitary. Technically this trend started in 2016, but it hasn’t gone away. It’s still here, and it keeps getting more ridiculous. Gone are the days of nail polish. No, we need to be incredibly extra now and start putting random objects on our fingers like lego pieces and hair. Folks, it looks like you have trolls for fingers. I also cannot get over the idea of using the washroom with furry nails, and you all know exactly what I’m getting at. Please, for everyone’s health and safety, stop doing this.
Special Mentions:
1. Vaping
It smells like Kool-Aid, the smoke clouds are obnoxious, and people think that because it isn’t technically smoke that they can huff and puff indoors or right in other people’s faces.
2. Bad Movie Remakes
The Hollywood schedule for films this year included 47 remakes, reboots, and sequels. Either it’s becoming difficult to create something original, or people are just getting lazy. Editor’s advice: do not watch Rings, T2 Trainspotting, or The Mummy. The only one I can recommend is It.
3. Despacito
To be fair, it’s a catchy song. It isn’t really the song itself that annoys me so much as it is the people who try to sing it, realize that they can’t speak Spanish (or are too lazy to learn the lyrics), and just end up repeating the same word over and over. Extra annoyance bonus: thinking it’s funny to rhyme “despacito” with burrito, cheeto, mojito, dorito, taquito, etc.
I truly hope these trends are left behind in 2017 so that I can have a fresh set to complain about next year. Have I missed anything in this list? Let me know in the comments!
Steam covers the windows as the kitchen begins its daily cycle. The first pan of onions is caramelized and freshly baked bread puddings come out of the oven. Their fragrance is intoxicating, bringing a smile to Ross Patterson’s face as he helps prepare for opening.
The Noodle Guy is a staple of the Annapolis Valley. Whether it’s at the Wolfville Farmers’ Market or their restaurant in Port Williams, the name of the institution is a familiar one. Seven years since their establishment as a small stall at the Farmers’ Market, the restaurant has carved its niche in the Annapolis Valley.
Ross and his wife Erin, who is the English, Music, and Theatre librarian at Acadia, moved here in 2001 so she could accept the position at the library. Ross began working at a restaurant where La Torta now is, but when it closed he decided to open a stall at the Wolfville Farmers’ Market.
“Right away you can’t produce certain kinds of food without being in a commercial kitchen,” he noted. The Noodle Guy began in a small shop next to the Tin Pan Bakery in Port Williams as a “boutique-level business” and has since grown.
Space is important to Ross and his business. “If you’re happy in your environment I believe that it’ll come through in your product.” The place beside the Tin Pan Bakery had lots of light, was not too big, and was close to Wolfville, the rent was cheaper. “All we did there was retail and the markets. We did have two tables of two in the front window, but very shortly we had to take that space to do prep.”
Ross began at the Farmers’ Market primarily selling noodles outside. “I just wanted to make and sell pasta,” he says. “If you want to talk to any of my employees here they’ll tell you I never want a restaurant again. I had one before and it’s a very tough business. If you do a little bit of research you’ll see that, other than the Library Pub, there isn’t a restaurant that has its same owners as it did 10 years ago.”
At the market, Ross wanted to see what they could do with their food. “We started making some dishes just so they could see it. Now at an average Wolfville Farmers Market we sell hundreds of orders of pasta every Saturday, which is a lot for a restaurant, let alone 56 square feet.”
The need for more space soon became apparent. Ross decided to move the business into their current space three years ago, which used to be the old Port Authority. Even the tables are made out of old apple boxes.
Earning a living wage is crucial to the success of The Noodle Guy. “Both Erin and I made a commitment that if we were going to employ people we were going to give them a living wage. The base has to be $15 an hour. It takes six months to get up to that and there’s a raise in between. Between that and their tips they’re easily making $20-25 an hour.”
It is the little things that allow him to pay his employees a living wage. “For example, you go up to the counter and place your order. It’s just like a regular restaurant after that when we bring you your food, but that little difference allows us to have one less person so the wages can be spread evenly amongst the people that are here.”
“If you take the attitude that when you pay people property they’ll find a solution to help us be profitable, it’s way better than saying ‘we can’t do it’. With that mindset we’ll never do it.”
The Noodle Guy is not a pyramid but a wagon wheel. “Everyone does everything here, even the dishwasher knows how to make the ravioli. It doesn’t matter if you’re a high school student or a single mother, that $15 an hour applies to everybody.”
Ross smiles as he discusses his employees. “They’re amazing,” he says. “We carry a staff of 12 people, at least 8 of which are full time. It’s because they’re great. They do great things. I went from not wanting a restaurant to watching these people excel and flourish.”
The Noodle Guy has taken a central role in the community of Port Williams. In the past two years, they have a variety of initiatives at their Port Williams location, including Christmas concerts that raised more than $2000 for the local food bank.
Burger nights have been the biggest success. “The burger night is a perfect case study on the success you attain when good people collaborate and solve your problems.” Between the cooks they came up with the homemade buns and specific recipes for burgers, which change every week, and another employee took control of social media.
“A funny thing happened,” Ross notes. “It became a community event. We see the same faces in here, and because we have family style seating we can seat people with people they don’t know and they can come together. It’s neighbours… Wolfville residents, even a gang of ladies that walked all the way over here from Wolfville to grab our burgers.”
Bounty from the County is another massively successful event. It is a 7-course meal that occurs only once a year for $75. “Apart from making sure that it’s costed properly, it’s entirely [the chefs that run it]” Ross says. Collaboration and ensuring that every member of The Noodle Guy community can be the best person they can be is crucial to creating the best possible business.
Ensuring that employees at The Noodle Guy could shop at the Wolfville Farmers’ Market was important. “Local produce and vegetables sometimes cost a little more, but I happen to think that it’s worth it.”
One of the things Ross is proud of is that the dirt on his floor is from the farmers he buys his produce from. Longspell, Taproot, are two major suppliers along with many smaller farms. “They don’t just come in and drop off produce. They sit down and eat because they know we’re using their stuff.” The connection that is created between the farm and the table is one that is important.
For Ross it all goes back to the idea of a living wage. “You can have the best people in the world working at your business, but if they have to worry about paying a cable or electric bill they’re just not going to be the best people they can be.”
The prices at The Noodle Guy are value driven. High quality ingredients are used but the prices are still affordable for students. Ross envisions The Noodle Guy as a treat when times are tough. “I wanted people to say, ‘I know things are tough, but maybe I can treat myself to this amazing garlic cork ravioli’ when they come here. The beautiful thing is that the people that know that know it, and the people that don’t know know it’s good. Students in particular come because it’s a little treat.”
Students have been integral to the success of The Noodle Guy. Especially for students who are away from home for the first time, the opportunity to connect with a face behind the food is what matters. “I remember the first-year students came up to me, and some of them came up to me to say goodbye. I remember saying to Erin ‘There goes our business’”. That wasn’t the case. One family who came in for lunch recently had their daughter graduate from Acadia years ago, but it was her recommendation that brought The Noodle Guy four more customers.
Students are a renewable resource. The chain effect is crucial to the sustainability of the business as older students bring younger students to the booth or restaurant, whether it’s in person or by word of mouth. This year in particular has been far more successful for the restaurant in Port Williams amongst students.
Feminism runs strong at The Noodle Guy. “It’s called The Noodle Guy because it used to just be a guy making noodles, but the funny thing is the foundation of this place is incredibly strong women.” 90% of the total staff is women, and the kitchen is 100% woman-run.
Ross emphasized how it is important for women to make their mark in an industry traditionally dominated by men. The Noodle Guy is only one small restaurant, but giving women the opportunity to maximize their creative potential is one that is important to him.
The success of the little restaurant in Port Williams has garnered national and international recognition. The Globe and Mail recently featured The Noodle Guy on their list of best places to dine in Nova Scotia, The Chronicle Herald gave their blessing from their top food critic, and the BBC came by to do a feature. However, Ross doesn’t let the recognition get to his head.
The long-term success of The Noodle Guy is something Ross has thought about. “I want to create an institution,” he says. “I want there to be a Noodle Guy here when those students who came to me send their grandkids to Acadia. For some reason, we’ve struck a chord and I hope we can allow that philosophy of paying people properly to persist.”
“I can’t change the world, but I can make a difference in ten to twelve people’s lives.”
On this day, December 7th, 2017, we find ourselves on the eve of final exams, my friends. I don’t know how you’re feeling, but if you are like me and have been wondering if you’re going to pass your classes or if you’re going to need to drop out, move overseas, and change your identity to hide your shame, fear not! Here is a list of really cool career options for you to start your new life.
1. Coffee Farming in Panama
How to do it: Move to Panama. Plead your case with a coffee farmer. Become a farm hand.
Pros: Lots of time outside. Reconnect with mother nature.
Cons: If you have never farmed before you might have a little bit of trouble
1. Bootleg Icelandic Frozen Yogurt Stand
How to do it: Go to the independent grocer. Buy all of the SKYR Icelandic yogurt. Freeze it. Pack it in a suitcase. Fly to Iceland. Let the yogurt melt a little bit. Put it in cones. Sell the Icelandic people their own yogurt.
Pros: People LOVE frozen yogurt. Lots of money in this business.
Cons: This might be a crime. I’m not sure.
1. Escort for MILFs and DILFs
How to do it: Use the rest of your student loan to buy fancy clothes. Write some craigslist ads. Kijiji ads. Facebook ads. e-Harmony ads. Sell your young and hot company to some rich middle aged people. Attend parties, high school reunions, etc.
Pros: You will be able to pay off your student loan? Also you will get to attend some parties.
Cons: Some people might frown upon the business of selling yourself but I mean… eh.
1. In-Person Telemarketing
How to do it: You’ve heard a telemarketer. The almost never succeed. Why? Because you can hang up and get rid of them. The solution: Take your phone into their house. Call them from the inside. Talk to them on the phone across the dinner table. If they hang up on you, you’re still there. After 3 hours, offer to leave for a modest price.
Pros: I am sure that you will make lots of money doing this. You will get to travel, see lots of people’s houses.
Cons: This might be a crime too… maybe multiple crimes.
Full Disclosure: I have never tried any of these. I cannot guarantee their success. If you try it and they go horribly wrong, I reserve the right to not be sued for damages.
P.S. You might be thinking, “if this is a list, why are all of them number 1?” That is because all of these ideas are amazing and will definitely work so they are all #1. No second-rate ideas here.
Elections are a test to see if democracy works. This year, The Athenaeum has compiled the 10 most interesting elections of 2017 to remind ourselves of the importance of the democratic process. They are in descending order:
Nova Scotia Provincial Election: May 2017
This was definitely not a nail-biter, but it was fascinating to see how the political climate in Nova Scotia has changed. Stephen McNeil’s Liberals were the favourites going into the election, which was held on May 30. His majority was reduced to 27/51 seats for the Liberal Party, with the Progressive Conservatives gaining 7 seats for a total of 17 and the NDP gaining a total of 2 seats for a total of 7 in the legislature. Major issues surrounding the election included health care, Nova Scotian exports, primary and secondary education, and job creation. This election was notable because of the low university student turnout, due in part because of its timing after the academic year.
United Kingdom General Election: June 2017
Prime Minister Theresa May called this election to strengthen her hand for upcoming Brexit negotiations, which ultimately backfired spectacularly. It was, as our Features Editor would say, a “flaming dumpster fire” for the Conservative Party as they lost their majority and were forced into a minority government, only staying in power with the support of the DUP, a right-wing anti-abortion Northern Irish party. Major issues in the election included Brexit and the UK’s role in the European Union, university tuition, the recent Grenfell Tower fire, and social security.
German Federal Election: September 2017
This election, much like the one in France, was seen as a test against rising populism and nationalism in Europe. Chancellor Angela Merkel was successful in her run for a fourth term, one of the only in Germany history, and her Christian Democratic Union (CDU) was able to secure a plurality of seats in September of 2017. Major issues in this campaign included immigration and Germany’s place in the EU. Run using of Mixed Member Proportional Representation the CDU was unable to secure a majority, and recently talks between smaller parties and the CDU have collapsed, leaving Merkel’s fate as Chancellor of Germany uncertain.
British Columbia Provincial Election: May 2017
Notable for the election of the first Green caucus in North America, British Columbia’s election in May 2017 was a nail biter. The BC Liberal Party, a centre-right wing free enterprise party led by Christy Clark, was reduced to a minority by a surge from the NDP and Greens in metro Vancouver and Vancouver Island, respectively. Clark tried to maintain the confidence of the House but the government fell after she visited the Lieutenant Governor, who then called upon NDP leader John Horgan to become the next Premier of British Columbia. Major issues in this election included transit, the construction of the Site C Dam in Northern BC, and affordability of housing.
French Presidential Election: May 2017
Seen as a litmus test for the wave of xenophobia hitting North America and Europe, the French Presidential election was dramatic. Former Prime Minister of France Francois Fillion was embroiled in a scandal early on, and the introduction of the young former Minister of Economy Emmanuel Macron and his centrist En Marche! movement changed the French political landscape. Neither of the two strongest parties in French history, the Socialists and Republicans, made it into the run-off where Macron faced off against Front Nationale xenophobe Marine Le Pen. Macron won with 66% of the national vote in the run-off, with only two Départments in northern France (Aisne and Pas-de-Calais) voting for Le Pen.
Japanese General Election: October 2017
In the midst of the North Korean Missile Crisis, Japan held a general election that resulted in Prime Minister Shinzo Abe being the first Prime Minister to win three consecutive elections since 1953. One of the major issues in this election was the controversy surrounding Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution, which forever renounces war as a tool by the Japanese people. Abe is looking to revise the Constitution for Japan to properly defend itself and with the support of his Liberal Democratic Party and Komeito, a socially conservative Japanese nationalist party.
Gambian Parliamentary Election: April 2017
The Gambia’s parliamentary elections were the first held since the inauguration of Adama Barrow as President and seen as a test for democracy in Western Africa. Of the 58 available seats, the centre-left United Democratic Party took 31. The UDP were one of 7 coalition parties to back Barrow, who challenged former President/dictator Jammeh, who was forced from office after contesting the results of an election that Barrow won. This achieves the #4 spot because of its House of Cards-esque drama and its potential for positive change in West Africa.
Iranian Presidential Election: May 2017
Incumbent President Hassan Rouhani, who has been described as a political moderate compared to his predecessor, was re-elected with 57% of the vote. It is important to note that this is a country that Freedom House classifies as Not Free “due to the role of the hard-line Guardian Council, which disqualifies all candidates deemed insufficiently loyal to the clerical establishment”. This election was important because it reflected Iran’s desire to stay the course in a world where Donald Trump is part of international politics. Iran makes it to #3 because under Rouhani’s leadership it will undoubtedly play a much larger role as a regional power, especially in Syria and Yemen.
Venezuelan Constituent Assembly Election: July 2017
Since the death of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela, his successor Nicolas Maduro has been in trouble. Massive inflation, a result of declining oil prices, has put massive pressure on the heavily socialist government to do something. In March 2017 the Supreme Court took over the powers of the opposition-led legislature, but quickly rescinded their decision after massive public backlash. This led for calls to create a Constituent Assembly to rewrite the Constitution in Maduro’s favour, which passed with flying colours. Now Maduro has the authority to eliminate all democratic institutions in Venezuela, to the condemnation of much of the international community. This reaches #2 because it will set Venezuela on a course that will draw much attention and have heavy ramifications on neighbouring countries in Latin America.
Kenyan General Election: August/November 2017
Our #1 spot goes to Kenya this year. In August 2017 the presidential election was contested between incumbent President Uhuru Kenyatta and challenger Raila Odinga. Kenyatta won in August with 54% of the vote, but Odinga contested the results in the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court annulled the results and called for fresh elections in October, but Odinga withdrew his candidacy citing the lack of preparation made by the electoral commission. This gains our #1 spot as it was a test for democracy in eastern Africa, and indicative of the strengthened institutions that Kenya has worked for many decades towards.
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