I did it to feel alive –

the air is heavy and wet

a humid paradise.


Tendrils of forsythia shudder in the breeze

golden leaves and pink petals leech into the sky.

There is always a stranger involved –

otherwise, where’s the high?


I did it because I didn’t know what else to do.

Promises were whispered in the balmy dusk:

Don’t worry – I vow – I’ll do it again

for once is never enough.


I did it because I was compelled to –

because nothing else feels real

I did it because there’s no one else

and no other way to feel.


Note: This poem is part of our Fall 2020 Print Edition that focuses on Women Health and Sexuality. Look across campus for a paper copy of this edition!