Today,
the morning said to me,
“go back to sleep”
then it kissed me on the cheek
and the rain played through my window
like my favourite song
until i was safe in my dreams.
my bed was empty
when i awoke
Morning had left me alone,
and i wanted to wait
for it to come back.
the afternoon knocked
on my door,
asking me if i was going to eat soon
then it told me
“you should probably eat soon”
but i crawled for a new pack
of cigarettes instead
then i laid, naked and empty,
lost in my head
on the floor of my kitchen,
watching the smoke
cloud my vision
of Responsibility peeking
through the window.
Reality had already settled
into the wrong places of my mind,
snickering as it closed the blinds
to the outside,
reminding me
how god damn easy
it is to ignore
the things i do not want
to face anymore.
i heard it whispering
“come on, what’s one more?”
but one more
i was dizzy,
and exploding with emotion,
intensity.
feeling in extremes
is not easy.
it is leaving the blinds
closed even though
i know i will have to open them
tomorrow.
i do not want to.
it is ripping myself in half,
knowing i will have
to stitch all the shit
back up again.
i do not want to.
it is reaching up from the kitchen floor
to get the knife
from the drawer
and sliding it across my skin.
it is the voice in my head still whispering
“what’s one more”
while my eyes shut
and the walls are crashing,
the blood falls.
it is wondering
if the Morning plans
on coming back at all.