Tag: consent

Fellatio, cunnilingus, and analingus: isn’t that a mouthful! All are technical terms for titillating tongue teasers. You may colloquially know these as “giving head,” “going down,” “rimming,” or a whole host of other oral sex descriptors. No matter what you call it, oral sex provides a variety of ways to give and receive satisfaction. However, before we discuss the more pleasurable side of these acts, let us touch on willingness, reciprocity, and health. As with any sexual interaction, all participants must be one hundred percent willing to partake at all times, and if any member wishes to take a break or stop they should not be penalized. Oral sex should be something you look forward to giving, receiving, and thinking about. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t do it. Likewise, oral should be something that is reciprocated. If you are regularly going down on your partner they should be willing to return the favour. If, for some reason, this is not the case, have a frank and open discussion with your partner as to why. Perhaps it is not something they are willing to do, in which case you must respect their wishes. However, make sure to work out an equally enjoyable action that they can perform on you, as all parties should be satisfied after each sexual encounter. If your partner is unwilling to perform oral sex for a reason other than a personal non-negotiable boundary, discuss with them how you can work through this. Maybe they find oral sex unappealing because of the smell or taste. If so, bathe the area prior to intercourse. This can be done solo or together as a fun, playful, and erotic prelude to foreplay. If your partner is unsure how to perform oral sex discuss with them what you would like. Have them try different methods on you while you provide judgment-free feedback during and after the event. Oral sex should be fun for everyone, and you can always experiment to incorporate new actions into your repertoire.

As with any sexual activity, awareness of associated health issues is paramount. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be transmitted orally from mouth to the genitals/anus and vice versa. The most commonly transmitted oral-genital/anal STIs include chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes simplex virus types 1 and 2, human papillomavirus (HPV), and human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). To protect yourself and your partners from STI transmission, always have an open and honest conversation about STIs prior to engaging in any sexual act. Use a condom, dental dam or other barrier method. Get regular STI testing. If you are participating in analingus, remember that STI transmission to the genitals is a possibility, and many bacterial diseases are also passed on via the fecal-oral route. This risk can be reduced by washing the anal region prior to oral, using a dental dam or other barrier method, and avoiding performing unprotected fellatio or cunnilingus immediately afterwards.

Once you have taken willingness, reciprocity, and health into consideration, you can proceed to give and receive fellatio, cunnilingus, and analingus. After oral intercourse you can sanitize the oral cavity by rinsing with an antibacterial mouthwash or oral antiseptic. However, use caution if brushing your teeth immediately after, as the bristles may cause small cuts in your gums, permitting contaminant transmission. Now, let’s get down to this orgasmic oration on oral intercourse.

Fellatio (from the Latin fellāre, to suck) is the technical term for blowjob. Have you ever wondered why it’s called a blowjob? Although there is no one reliable etymology, many competing reasons abound. “Blowjob” could be a derivation of the 1940s jazz expression “to blow,” meaning to play an instrument with some skill using the mouth. Further, it could be a holdover from the Victorian-era, when the slang term for prostitute was “blowsy,” and slang for blowjob was “below-job.” Over time these terms evolved into today’s blowjob. It could also have come about as a facetious use of “blow” as the opposite of “suck,” or as a descriptor of the volcanic final result. Whatever the route, the expression was in colloquial use by the 1950s. Much of the confusion surrounding this term comes from the action itself. Fellatio rarely, if ever, involves blowing. More often, giving head consists of one partner sucking the penis of another. As every individual has their own personal preference, make sure to discuss with your partner how they would like to be pleasured, and always have fun with your actions. Remember, swallowing is a personal choice, and if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, don’t.

Cunnilingus (from the Latin words cunnus, vulva, and lingua, tongue) is a less frequently discussed form of oral sex. Also known as “eating out,” cunnilingus involves oral stimulation of the vulva (consisting of the clitoris, labia, and vaginal canal). If you want to be a cunning linguist, keep in mind that 18% of women prefer oral to achieve orgasm and 75% of women require direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings on the glans alone (in comparison the penis has 4,000), which connect to a network of 15,000 nerve endings in the pelvic region. Over three-fourths of the clitoral body is internal, although stimulation can occur via contact with the external glans, located under the clitoral hood. If you are unsure where to start try the “alphabet technique.” This method involves writing out the alphabet with your tongue on the vulva, focusing on and around the clitoris. Repeat any letters your partner enjoys, and pay attention to their body language and vocalizations for feedback. As with any sexual act, communication is key. Ask what your partner does and does not like, have them tell you what to do next, and let them physically direct your movements by either moving their hips against you or placing their hand on your head. As no two women are the same, make sure you are in constant communication with your partner in regards to speed and pressure. Due to the hypersensitivity of an aroused clitoris (remember those nerve endings and pelvic neural networks) start with a gentle caress of the area, working up to harder more direct stimulation as arousal builds. Keep in mind that some sensations may be too strong, and always be willing to decrease the pressure.

Analingus (from the Latin anus, ring, and lingere, to lick), commonly referred to as “rimming” or “salad tossing,” is an oral-anal sex act in which one partner’s mouth, lips or tongue contact the anus or perineum (space between the ass and genitals) of another. As with any act, analingus requires discussion with your partner prior to engagement. If your partner is willing to try analingus, but decides during the act that it is not for them, respect their wishes and do not pressure them to continue. If you are practicing analingus always clean the area thoroughly with soap and water prior to any oral contact, as many bacterial diseases are passed on via the fecal-oral route. Internal cleansing can be preformed, but is not required. If you will be cleansing internally make sure you are aware of all health and safety concerns associated with this practice. External preparations can involve pubic hair maintenance, however this is a personal preference, as no one has the right to tell you how to treat your body. Nonetheless, hair-back-there can trap fecal particles, leading to potential health risks for your partner. If you are expecting a rim job, trim, shave, or wax the area prior to engagement. If this is just not your style, make sure you give the area an extra thorough clean, and do not be offended if you partner declines to participate. Protective layers, such as dental dams or a condom cut in half, can help prevent the spread of infection, intestinal parasites, bacteria, viruses, or diseases. Always remember to sterilize anything that has been in contact with the anal region prior to placing it into or near the vaginal canal. Failure to do so could lead to vaginal bacterial infections, such as vaginitis and cystitis. Once the requisite health concerns have been appropriately addressed, try slowly working your way towards to anal region and gently separate the glutes for easier access. As with any sex act, there is no one successful formula. Communicate with your partner about what they like, show your enthusiasm, and, most importantly, enjoy!

Fellatio, cunnilingus, and analingus. Willingness, reciprocity, and health. Good things come in threes and now, so can you.