Tag: eating disorder

  • Show Me the Muscles

    Show Me the Muscles

    I have a confession to make. I am not ashamed, nor am I going to hide it. I am in a cult…the spin cult. That’s right, this summer I donned a sports bra and leggings, said my prayers (cardio and I do not get along most of the time), and entered into the bright lights, thumping music and happy gaze of the spin studio. By the time that sweaty, grueling fifty minutes was up, I stumbled out of the studio, dazed, dripping in sweat, and like a woman possessed, immediately pulled out my phone and registered for another class a couple days later.

    It was several weeks later at the spin studio when I overheard a conversation from two girls who were waiting for the same class that I was. Part of the spin class is a weight track of nonstop upper body exercises for the duration of one or two songs, where you could choose from two, three, four, or five-pound weights for that track or tracks. The instructor had encouraged the class to go up in weight because the weight track that day was shorter. The girls were discussing what weights to use.

     

    “I might go up to four…maybe five…” one girl, in a black sports bra, mused.

     

    “I’m going to stay at two or three.” Her friend, in a pink sports bra, was firm.

     

    “Oh, why?” Black Sports Bra asked.

     

    “I don’t want to get bulky.” Pink Sports Bra shrugged. “I just want to be toned.”

    Though she was the catalyst for this article, Pink Sports Bra is not alone, nor is she unique in stating this. Women everywhere are flocking to gyms in the pursuit of being ‘toned’, but never ‘big’ or ‘bulky’. Lucky for them, the fitness industry is only too willing to comply with this demand: this century’s latest edition of the ‘perfect body’. So, what do you need to be ‘toned’? The first ingredient is cardio. Lots of it. And one company has tapped so far into this need that it has become a piece of popular culture in its own right.

    SoulCycle seems to have initiated a takeover of the fitness industry in the US, and has recently begun an expansion into Canada. If endorphins (that feel-good hormone that you get from exercise) are a drug, then SoulCycle has the stuff to fulfill your junkie needs, and they have the numbers to prove it. According to the company, their classes welcome 50,000 riders every day. A drop-in class in one of these brightly colored cardio fantasy lands will set you back $30. When you do the math, that means SoulCycle brings in roughly 1.5 million dollars weekly (adjusted for the fact that monthly and yearly passes bring the cost of a single class down somewhat). This is their class revenue only, not counting their clothing line with Lululemon and their in-house brands of fitness accessories. SoulCycle is entirely cardio-based, and cardio is widely acknowledged to be the best way to burn fat (read: be ‘toned’).

    What is the next step to building that much-discussed, ‘toned’ physique? A gym, of course. And not just a gym, but a gym experience. Because, did you even go to the gym if you didn’t take a selfie in a spotless mirror mounted in an aesthetic changeroom? Hence, the rise of the luxury gym.

    Equinox is SoulCycle’s parent company, and purchasing a gym membership at this luxury chain will set you back $165 monthly. A membership includes a fitness assessment, a personal training session, spa treatments, a discount at the gym store, filtered water stations, eucalyptus scented towels, steam rooms, saunas, Kiehl’s body products to use in the changerooms, coat check, locker rental, access to the Kid’s Club for daycare, and birthday discounts. Why do I bring up Equinox in particular? Because many gyms are striving to be the next Equinox. This past summer, GoodLife gyms upped their membership prices to the annoyance of many. An anonymous employee told me that this decision was made to change GoodLife’s image in relation to the demographic that it caters to. In terms of marketing, this is not all that surprising given that dirt-cheap gyms have become somewhat a joke (consider how Planet Fitness is viewed among the internet-dwelling public).

    What also makes Equinox famous is its endorphin-inducing group fitness classes. These classes also are known for their fat-blasting abilities, with some women commuting far from their places of living to Equinox for their classes, as the gym is based in large cities. The creators of these classes are becoming celebrities in their own right online, with enthusiastic followers who sometimes live nowhere near that instructor’s particular gym (Equinox New York instructor Gina DiNapoli, creator of Jabs with Gina, boasts 17,000 followers on Instagram).

    Speaking of Instagram, the social media app has also become a breeding ground for the fitness industry. Because, what happens when you can’t afford or can’t go to the gym (I’m looking at you, broke students)?

    The most popular fitness app in the Apple App Store was born on Instagram, and is a women’s app. The Sweat App is the brainchild of Australian fitness guru Kayla Itsines, who’s Instagram page is full of images of healthy meals, exercise videos, and selfies of Kayla herself, an enthusiastic woman (who somehow boasts prominent abs even after giving birth this year) whose every move is fawned over by her 11.8 million followers.

    The Sweat App is interesting because it taps into another commonly held belief about being ‘toned’: weights and dumbbells equal big and bulky, i.e. not good. So, you take out the weights. This is the gateway into another huge sub-category of the women’s fitness industry: at-home workouts. The Sweat App began with Itsines’s famous BBG (Bikini Body Guide) workout, 28-minute workouts that are done at home with minimal equipment. The Australian isn’t the only one to pick up on this trend. The self-proclaimed ‘Instagram queen of home workouts’, @BrittneBabe, has a loyal following of 1.6 million, who lap up her cardio-intensive, body weight routines with little to no equipment (a recent post by her gave an enthusiastic demonstration of a workout where the only equipment requirement was a pair of socks). Actress Jennifer Garner recently happily endorsed the Instagram-famous personal trainer who ‘toned’ her for her action film Peppermint, Simone De La Rue, who runs a dance-based gym in Los Angeles without a weight in sight.

    I will admit to going to the spin studio this summer with the hopes of shedding a bit of stubborn body fat, though I love my body for what it is and what its accomplished in the two years since I embraced fitness. I have no regrets in wanting to lose a few pounds, because I knew that with or without that five pounds, I was still healthy. The classes were fun and definitely effective. But the classes also introduced me to the dark side of the women’s fitness industry (through no fault of the studio’s). In the waiting room prior to class beginning, I can’t tell you how many times I heard about women and girls doing X amount of classes per week to erase a weekend of ‘bad’ eating, sometimes even two or three classes a day. More on overeating later, though. Through my un-ashamed eavesdropping, I realized that these women were punishing themselves in pursuit of the ideal body that the women’s fitness industry, and Instagram, have embraced tenfold. Miss Perfect Body has minimal to no body fat, no sagging skin in sight (hence the word ‘toned’), but likewise has little muscle definition, with the exception of her butt, which she achieved through resistance band exercises (again, no weights). Her stomach is flat, with a bit of ab poking through (but never a six pack), and she is able to ditch shirts with ease. And the women’s fitness industry is only too happy to take your money and help you get to her, no matter how difficult or even impossible it actually is to achieve that kind of body.

    The conclusion that I came to at the end of this past summer was that this industry is largely built on fear, if you didn’t pick up on my sarcastic summary of this industry. Specifically, fear of falsities.

    The women that flock to cardio-based fitness classes to punish themselves for eating more than a bite of pizza are afraid of food. But, gaining muscle and weight is actually harder than diet companies would have you believe. To gain muscle, it is a matter of being in a caloric surplus, that is, consuming more calories than you burn. Many people that seek to enter a so-called ‘bulk phase’ abandon cardio altogether during the phase. The women that avoid any dumbbell over five pounds are afraid of building muscle, and looking manly (the generally accepted truth is that one would need to increase their weights virtually every other week to gain muscle, in addition to being in a caloric surplus). Large size, even if it is healthy muscle, has become the enemy, ironic for an industry that somehow manages to preach both ‘balance’ and ‘control’.

    Oddly, I don’t really blame women for these fears they have. These are the messages that are being put out there by any number of so-called authorities. The models who grace billboards and ads are not muscular, and are widely touted to be beautiful. Weight loss programs take a hardline approach based on restriction, and the idea that you as the participant are an uncontrollable food monster that has to be told what to do, or, like a petulant child, you’ll misbehave. This mindset has only gained prominence as of late, coincidentally (or not) growing alongside social media. What is especially disturbing is how these fears have gradually seeped down the age groups. We often forget that we are being watched by younger generations, and not only watched, but imitated. I admit, when I embarked on a mission to locate some studies to support my claim that this industry is based on some horrifying ideas and goals, I thought that I had a pretty good idea of how nauseating it all was. Unfortunately, I was wrong, and I admit to having gotten up from my desk to take a break from it all. However, this only emphasizes to me the importance of reporting these statistics.

    The comparison between over-exercising, destructive eating behaviors, self-consciousness and social media may seem like an odd comparison to make, but when you think about it, it’s actually not odd at all. In 2008, two years before Instagram launched, the Journal of the American Dietetic Association published the results of a study conducted among 300 participants, 105 men and 1181 women of college age. Among the women, the most prominent desire identified was the desire to lose weight. 13% reported being currently on a diet, with women being far more likely than men to have tried a variety of diets, such as Weight Watchers. Of that 13%, only 17% reported being satisfied with the results of the diet.

    This was in 2008. By 2015, when Instagram was five years old, the National Eating Disorder Association that the average age for a woman to become concerned for her weight was 6 years old. According to them, the best-known environmental contributor to this was the sociocultural idea of thinness, followed by a high risk for girls whose mothers were overly concerned with their weight. The connection between self-consciousness about weight and exercise cannot be understated even if you tried. The same association estimates that 90-95% of eating disorder victims have a gym membership, and roughly 80% of these individuals were prone to excessive exercise in their efforts to lose weight. Of gym-goers in general, it is estimated that 42% over-exercise. In adolescents, it has been reported that 57% of girls engage in crash dieting, fasting, self-induced vomiting, diet pills, or laxatives (weight loss teas). Even amongst non-overweight girls, 1/3 reported being or having been on a diet.

    Instagram is estimated to have 1 billion active users, more than 100 million of these in North America. The app is especially popular with the age demographic of people between 18 and 29 years old. 41% of Instagram’s user base is under 24 years old (statistics concerning Instagram’s usage among minors, other than the acknowledged fact that its popular in that group, are hard to find and likely inaccurate). Is it a coincidence that the age at which women become concerned with their bodies is dropping, whilst Instagram and social media only grow in popularity? As the saying goes, coincidence? I THINK NOT.

    So, I’ll leave you with a final conclusion: Instagram became the authority on fitness as quality information became less accessible (though I am not saying that every influencer espouses bad information). These days, anyone with a following (which, by the way, you can buy) is seen to have some sort of credibility. More importantly, it is far easier to locate a fitness influencer in under two minutes than it is to find quality research. Moreover, how do you tell if an article contains quality research? How long would that take?

    Ironically, quality information and long-lasting health choices share a cliché: anything worth having is not easy to get. Take the time to find good information, rather than taking two minutes to enter your credit card information in an order form for diet tea or sign up for a program that promises huge results with little time input. Unfortunately, the internet doesn’t have a quality control board. As is usually the case, if a program promises results or ‘research’ reports results that sound good to be true, it probably is. But likewise, do not be governed by fears, because if something sounds too scary to be true, like gaining a pound on one piece of pizza, it probably is as well.

    If you or someone else is experiencing an eating disorder, there is help available. Call the National Eating Disorder Information Centre, toll-free, at 1-866-633-4220.

  • Orthorexia: How Clean Eating Ruined My Life

    Orthorexia: How Clean Eating Ruined My Life

    Two years ago on his birthday, my father suffered a heart attack. He thankfully survived and began his recovery journey with confidence and determination. Part of this recovery included a complete change in diet, and to show my support I took on the challenge with him. For the last two years, I have been participating in ‘clean eating’ and it has changed my life. So much so that I am writing this the day after I came home from a stay in the hospital.

    Beginning a healthy lifestyle was one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. But I stuck with it and was so proud of myself for doing so. The better I ate, the better I felt. Instead of being addicted to junk food, I became addicted to healthy food and feeling good about myself. Of all the things a person can become addicted to, feeling good about oneself is a pretty good option. Right? That’s what I used to think. Now I know that an addiction is an addiction no matter how it’s dressed up. Clean eating started out very innocent with me. I only wanted to support my Dad and live a healthier life. The more I practiced clean eating, though, the more obsessed with it I became. The way I felt about myself slowly started to become dependent on what food I ate in a day, and I started to develop a very strict way of eating. Eating healthy wasn’t a choice anymore. It was a necessity. Eight months ago, I ate one Reese’s peanut butter cup in a moment of weakness and felt terrible about it. I felt so ashamed that I contemplated suicide. Even though I clearly did not go through with that, I still decided that I needed to be punished. If I eat badly then I am bad, and bad people deserve punishment. That was the night that I started harming myself. This became a cycle: clean eating, minor slip up, punishment, repeat.

    My Dad’s birthday was earlier this week, and my Mom invited the whole family to the house for a celebratory potluck. The entire drive there I was doing everything in my power to keep myself from having a full-blown anxiety attack. Now, as far as group dinner go, potluck is probably the best style for somebody like me. There are plenty of options for me to still eat clean; especially since I bring at least 3 different dishes with me. What I feared were the two things that my family knows I can’t resist: ice cream cake and red wine. Knowing my family, I would be talked into having at least one of those options. So, I made it through dinner fine, skipped out on the cake because I was “just so full from dinner still”, and things were looking great. Then my sister brought out a glass of wine handed it to me and informed me that she had made it herself so I just had to try it. It was good. So good that I had three more glasses. This lead me to possibly one of the biggest mental breaking points I have ever had. My Mom found me a few hours later in the bathroom with blood on the floor from one of my punishments. She took me to the hospital where I spent three days being evaluated, questioned, and finally released after agreeing to see a therapist and a dietician on a regular basis.

    Healthy eating is fantastic. Active living is also highly beneficial. But there really is such a thing as too healthy. I took it to a level of extreme that should never have been reached. I took it to the level of orthorexia.  The scary part is that on the surface, everything looked fine. I just looked like a normal girl who lived a “healthy” lifestyle. But on the inside, I was falling apart. Now it’s my turn on the road to recovery.

     

     

  • Not Always: A Response to Exercise Is Medicine

    Did you know that there was a study published in the US National Library of Medicine which suggests that men who play sports professionally show a higher percentage of depression? What the article concluded was that “the high ratings of depression in this group indicate that they need psychological help and that exercise is not sufficient in reducing their depression.” Not everyone is a professional athlete, but the most important part of that study is the conclusion: that the athletes needed more help. This is what happens when you treat exercise like it is a cure-all when it is clearly not. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, the study had a relatively small sample size of twenty individuals. However, this doesn’t disprove the fact that exercise clearly doesn’t help decrease anxiety or depression in everyone, and these people should not be told that it does as it may prevent them from choosing other methods of assistance.

    I am well-versed in mental health due to a detailed history with it. I take anxiety medication for my panic disorder. Anyone who knows anything about medication treating mental illness knows that medication is not a magic pill. Medication helps the patient achieve neutrality. One must also take personal steps and coping mechanisms toward maintaining recovery in mental health. If someone said that their medication wasn’t working for them, the doctor doesn’t tell them that they are not taking it properly. They attempt to help them find a medication or a new dosage that works for them.  Who would force someone to take a medication that doesn’t work for them or makes them feel worse? In fact, the first thing they tell you when you take medication is that you should report to a doctor immediately if your anxiety or depression gets worse. If you are determined to view exercise as a medication, of which I have no problem, you need to follow the rules. Medication is not a cure all. That is, you wouldn’t prescribe Adderall for liver cancer, or Valium for depression. We can see that cannabis oil can help with some of the cancer side effects, but we would never use it in place of chemotherapy. Even more specific, I use Celexa brand Citalopram for my anxiety, but another anxiety medication like Xanax doesn’t work for me because it gives me migraines.

    First, calling exercise a “hugely under-recognized and under-utilized tool” Is laughable. Exercise is good for your body. That’s a commonly known fact. I don’t understand where these people pushing exercise like an unacknowledged cure for everything are getting the idea that nobody knows this fact. Exercise is good for obesity, diabetes, and high blood pressure? Who knew? As far as exercise helping chronic conditions goes, I followed that citation to a government site, where they state it almost word for word, and that government site got that information almost word for word from a study done by Statistics Canada, a government statistics site that got their information from a study done by the Pennington Biomedical Research Center and the Canadian Fitness and Lifestyle Research Institute.

    The reason I went so far to find the direct place the information came from is because each time this information was used they conveniently worded it so that it sounded like it lowers the risk of you getting a chronic illness. The original study was that it lowered the risk of you dying from a chronic illness, because the subjects already had chronic conditions when they were studied. It’s not exactly groundbreaking information that if you have a chronic heart condition, you will live longer if you exercise. If you are sitting there thinking that I’ve misunderstood the term ‘exercise’ and that articles like these are only pushing daily light fitness, which is healthy for everyone, then you need to read the study that was being referenced because it suggests much more than moderate exercise as treatment. In other words, we aren’t talking about keeping up with a long walk or a few sit ups in the comfortability of your own home.

    Second, if you are sitting thinking that we need to push exercise because high rates of obesity and mortality from chronic conditions prove that we don’t understand the benefits, you are misinformed. Let me enlighten you. I have anorexia nervosa, I am in recovery, and I am doing very well. However, I am often told by those who don’t understand or know about my illness that I should exercise to feel better about myself every day, an hour a day. Here is the problem: exercise is very difficult for someone who suffers from an illness that focuses on body dysmorphia and over exercise. I almost starved myself to death because of my anorexia, and I constantly deal with that. Having people tell me that I’ll feel better if I exercise makes me hate myself and my body even more than I already do. I understand that exercise makes you feel better and can help people with anxiety and depression. However, my point is that there are people out there for whom this is not effective. I’m lucky if I’m able to get to the gym once a week without having a full-blown panic attack. When I do, I feel proud of myself for doing something that’s hard for me, but not for exercising. It’s not about the exercise for me. It’s about conquering something that terrifies me. Pushing exercise as this treatment that people should do every day to feel better and help their illnesses has consequences. It makes the people who take such validation from that one day they can do it and feel good about conquering that hurdle feel horrible instead of proud of themselves.

    Statistically, anorexia affects about 1% of the population and there is a 30-50% mortality rate usually because of suicide. Anorexia also forms early in life and starts out as innocent diet and exercise. I was told to lose weight by my peers, and I did. I took it too far, but what didn’t help was all the people in my life pushing diet and exercise on a teenager with horrible self-esteem issues. Not everyone who exercises develops anorexia, not everyone exercise to lose weight or because they feel pressured to do so. But the ones who do have it for life are in treatment for usually a few years. Therapy itself can take at least twelve months, and the mortality rate is high. Saying that we should target kids young to help their ‘mental health’ sounds a little morbidly familiar to me.

    As for pressuring doctors to inform their patients of the benefits of exercise, I assure you that your doctor is aware. That doctor is also probably smart enough to realize that there are some conditions and individuals that would not benefit from that prescription, as with any other kind of medicine you can think of. Even if you think that promoting exercise on anyone regardless of their condition or individual experience is harmless, take the following into consideration. An individual might take a vitamin B12 supplement if they are anemic. However, even though vitamins are harmless, when an anorexic who is heavily malnourished with no body fat or very little, takes a vitamin, it does nothing because our body can’t process it. We just flush it out. So even if you won’t admit to a potential harm, there is admittedly a situation where medication of any kind just does not have an affect. It ends up not being the correct treatment for that individual. An anorexic might benefit from some B12, but that doesn’t mean that the vitamin is just magically going to work. If all you do is tell the anorexic to keep eating vitamins, they aren’t going to get any better. You’ve fundamentally misunderstood that individual’s condition.

    Anorexia is just my personal experience, but claiming that exercise is a cure-all can affect all sorts of different disorders, eating or otherwise. What if someone has chronic pain? Imagine how it would feel to have everyone telling you that you would feel better if you exercised and you are sitting there immobilized by your disease feeling like a failure because you weren’t able to get an hour a day in the gym. What if over-exercising triggers that chronic pain disease? Pushing exercise can be detrimental to someone’s mental health if they are unable to.

    I’m not trying to devalue the fact that exercise can be a very important part of recovery for a lot of people with chronic illness and with mental issues. I’m not trying to devalue it’s worth. Studies like the ones researched in the article provide important information and have important results that need to be disclosed in their entirety. If you have a mental illness or chronic disease or disorder and you find that exercise helps, then I am not trying to say that you shouldn’t exercise. I’m not trying to say that anyone shouldn’t exercise, I’m just trying to say that if you can’t (and many can’t), articles like these are hard to deal with. And I certainly don’t agree with the notion that we should be pushing it on people and pressuring people to exercise as treatment for mental illness. Even if you know that it shouldn’t be pushed on every individual as a cure all type treatment, when you issue blanket statements like the one that the “Exercise is Medicine” article (and many like it) has made, it’s still a problem. I feel it comes from a place of misinformation and misunderstanding and doesn’t fully consider the consequences of what it’s suggesting. This is especially true since no article I’ve come across about the pro-exercise is medicine stance seems to contain a qualifier that acknowledges the many people like me who find this difficult.

    I think exercise is great, it makes me feel good about myself and I have fun doing it when I am physically and mentally able to. I want to exercise, but it’s extremely difficult for me to do it, and it’s even harder when I constantly feel like a failure when I’m unable to, and pushing exercise as a cure all magic pill makes it feel like I’m not trying hard enough. I am trying, and I’m proud of myself. But articles like this make me feel much less proud of myself. I’m not writing this response for the people who believe pushing exercise as treatment like a cure all without knowing the facts is a good idea. I’m not trying to argue with you, and I’m not going to. I’m writing it for the people who read that article and, for whatever reason, are unable to exercise regularly. If you are suffering from a mental illness or chronic illness or whatever else and you have a hard time going to the gym, or even going outside, I understand what you’re going through. I understand how hard it is. I understand the pressures you face and the way articles like these make you feel. Your feelings are valid; I feel them too. Regardless of whether you have trouble or not, you are doing the best you can. You are trying your hardest. You are not a failure because this is difficult for you. You should be commended for how far you’ve come and the hurdles that you’ve crossed. I’m proud of you, and you should be proud of you too.

     

     

     

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