The Athenaeum

Tag: advice

  • Ask Ellen- November 26th

    Ask Ellen- November 26th

    After a short hiatus, the “Ask Ellen” column has returned to The Athenaeum. Follow along for answers to all of your most pressing questions.

    How was your trip? Do you miss me???

    My trip was life-changing. For those of you that don’t know, I did a study abroad program last semester called Semester at Sea. It was the most incredible thing that has opened my mind to so many things I could never imagine and so many new opportunities. If you want to know more about it, I’d be happy to answer specific questions. There’s far too much to tell because there was so much that happened. For now, I will say it was the best four months of my life. I missed everyone here at home and am very happy to be back. It’s bittersweet because I miss my SAS family as well when I’m not with them.

    American politics!

    What to say. I understand it, but I truly believe that we see a different side to their politics than they do. You can be the judge as to whether this means that Americans have been brainwashed. I think that we definitely need to recognize American politics and all Canadians should be educated on the matter. More and more Canadians, especially students, have been interested in it because it has been so laughable, shocking and terrifying recently. It has been in the media for so long that people ages 16-35 have picked up on it and have continued to follow along. I have noticed that we don’t actually know enough substance about American politics and we need to continue to educate ourselves and others around us about the facts and numbers of American politics. This can help us to understand our own politics as well. Unfortunately, there is so much happening within our country that I am trying to just keep up with Canadian politics at the moment. We should definitely be concerned with the politics of other countries around the world, but it is even more important to be concerned about the politics in our own country, because way too many Canadians don’t understand them. For example, voting. Everyone should vote. Even if you feel like you don’t know why you want to vote for any of the candidates, pick one based on anything you understand. This is so important.

    Fun fact: In a conversation with 15 educated American university students, no one knew who our prime minister was and more than half of them thought we had a president. This is so sad and can be changed with education.

    What is Semester at Sea? Did you like it?

    Semester at Sea is a program based out of Colorado State University. It is one semester long and happens twice a year; I went this past semester. Acadia does not offer it through their study abroad program, but I found out about it from a friend that did it a few years ago (shout out to David Langley)! It was an independent study abroad, which meant that I did everything myself. The only thing that was challenging was the application process. It is geared towards Americans, so it took 10+ extra steps to get accepted and get the visas I needed. I travelled on a refurbished German cruise ship to 11 different countries. They included: USA (Leaving from San Diego, then to Hawaii), Japan, China, Vietnam, Myanmar, India, Mauritius, South Africa, Ghana, Morocco, and Portugal. I travelled a bit after the semester was over and made it to 16 countries in total. There were 600 students onboard and 300 faculty and staff. I was one of 6 Canadians that got accepted, and the only east coaster. I got 12 university credits. DID I LIKE IT? What is not to like? I travelled around the world without having to take time off from my studies. It was INCREDIBLE. I saw so many places, people, things, in such a short amount of time. My memories are endless. I recommend it to anyone and everyone. Message me to ask more questions because I love talking about it.

    I’m trying to save money and I’m thinking on how to cut expenses for hydro, how do I convince my roommates to all take same shower to help cut costs?

    Well, I don’t think you should be trying to convince your roommates to all take the same shower, especially if not all of them are into that sort of thing. I do however have some good ideas for cutting back on water & energy costs:

    1. Do not leave your tap running while brushing your teeth or doing the dishes.
    2. Turn off your shower in between washing and rinsing.
    3. Hang-dry your clothes instead of using the dryer.
    4. Hand-wash small items of clothing.
    5. Hand-dry dishes without running the water. Or, make sure the dishwasher is full.

    A really good idea to enforce these things in your household, whether it be with your roommates, kids, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. is to create signs. For example, putting a small sign next to the sink or the shower head to say, “don’t forget to turn off!”

    For more information about some very efficient and sustainable ways to reduce hydro costs, talk to some of the ESST or CODE professors at Acadia!

    Why did the hatchet give me cancer

    I can’t answer this question in an educated manner.

    Why are Acadia students mooches

    You know, Acadia has the highest tuition in Canada, so people are broke and need a way to save some money here and there. Mooching helps.

    Ellen Merchant is a fourth year Politics and English double major. If you feel like asking her a question, you can ask it right here.

  • Ask Ellen – November 22nd

    Ask Ellen – November 22nd

    After a short hiatus, the “Ask Ellen” column has returned to The Athenaeum. Follow along for answers to all of your most pressing questions.

    What is your key to confidence?

    First of all, thank you for thinking I am confident. I must be doing something right. I have as many insecurities as the next girl (or guy), but I genuinely just say what I want to and try to be as honest as I can. If you are loud and have an opinion about something, people assume you are confident. I would consider myself a confident person and I give that credit to my parents, particularly my mom. I feel like everyone has a role model they look up to, and the reason I can be confident that I will be able to achieve my goals is because my role model has told me I am able to. My mom has given me so much confidence because I like to follow her lead and she is a very confident woman, and for good reason. My parents have supported me through everything and I have seen how not having this foundation can cripple someone’s confidence. This does not make someone less than, it just means they might need to find a new role model that makes them feel confident and as though they can be and do anything they want. Knowing who you are is a major key to confidence and only recently did I fully know. Throughout school I didn’t conform as much with all the other girls which was why I felt like I needed to discover who I was, and this took a while. Knowing who you are gives you confidence in your own skin.

    Ellen Merchant is a fourth-year Politics and English double major. If you feel like asking her a question, you can ask it right here.

  • “Ask Ellen” Returns

    “Ask Ellen” Returns

    After a short hiatus, the “Ask Ellen” column has returned to The Athenaeum. Follow along for answers to all of your most pressing questions.

    How to swallow the BS Ath is spinning?

    We have to remember that the Ath contains  articles written by individuals that are ultimately going to be biased and geared towards the opinion of the person that wrote it. That person may be trying to include other opinions in order to avoid this bias but for the most part, if it is written by that person, you are getting their perspective on the subject. If you would like more inclusive articles written with less bias, email or message some suggestions our way and we would be happy to review them and see what we could write about. Another awesome idea is if you think what the Ath is displaying is bullshit.. write for them. If you want something done right, do it yourself. Join the Ath and write unbiased pieces.

    So this guy I’m seeing has been acting weird and randomly texted saying he wants to “meet for coffee”… I think he wants to break up… so I told him I didn’t want to meet and then we kinda fell out over text. Was that immature of me?

    Some people feel as though they don’t want to go through the emotions in person. That’s fine. As long as it isn’t hurting the other person as well. That person may have wanted to talk to you face to face in order for them to get the closure they needed. Not providing them with that is totally up to you, but something to think about. To answer your question, I don’t think that was immature of you. I do, however, think there could have been a chance that you could have worked through things if his mind wasn’t already 100% set before going for coffee. If you wanted that chance with him, it might have been a good idea to meet. There are a million and one “what ifs” but I think that as long as you’re being fair to your and his emotions, you aren’t being immature at all.

    Sex!

    Love it!

    Ellen Merchant is a fourth-year Politics and English double major. If you feel like asking her a question, you can ask it right here.

  • As Philip DeFranco would say, “Don’t be stupid, stupid.”

    As Philip DeFranco would say, “Don’t be stupid, stupid.”

    Welcome to Acadia University. Whether you’re here for the first time, or have been here for way too long, I think I speak for most students when I say it’s pretty awesome being back. I’ll be this year’s opinions editor, which basically means I’d like you to send me all the rants that keep you up at night, or debating for hours on end (note: this is me making fun of our former Editor-in-Chief; he knows who he is and I hope he is reading this).

    Instead of sullying my name outright at the beginning of the semester, I’ll save the hard-hitting stuff for later on. However, I figure I’ll throw out some common-sense stuff every student should do when getting back to school.

    1. Call your damn parents. Seriously, you’re lucky to be here. They’re pumped that you’re here and they’ll be happy to know you’ve settled in. And let’s be honest, most of us will be in need of something after a few weeks anyway…
    2. Get organized right away. This is sick because it’s not like you have anything else to do besides buying books that actually prepares you for school.
    3. Food: go nuts, student loans only last so long. Trust me, it doesn’t matter how much money you think you have, it always runs out.
    4. Download Grammarly. Seriously, anyone who does academic writing needs this (ie, all my BA students/future barista brothers and sisters). It’s not flawless, but it’s a decent last line of defense before you hand in an assignment.
    5. Record all your due dates somewhere you’ll see them all the time. Any Mac users out there can put reminders in your calendar and have them sent to your phone. If you’re old fashioned, you can always use an Android…
    6. Frosh, get out of your room, keep your door open and go to rez events. I still live with the guys who were my best buds in Chip.
    7. Don’t be stupid, stupid. We all drink from time to time, but a $450 fine from the RCMP is no fun, and neither is the additional $450 you’ll get if you’re caught drinking underage. If you’re going to a party, go with someone who’s taking a bookbag.
    8. Get involved in anything. Write for The Ath, join Axe Radio, attend Model United Nations, stay up ludicrously late to play intramural sports. Hell, go to the party your rez or buds are throwing. School hits pretty hard near the end of September so enjoy your time while you can.

    Well, there you go. A totally generic opinion piece on how not to be stupid when you get back to school. But seriously, write for the Athenaeum, If you have an opinion and want it heard, hit me up at [email protected].

    Kyle Thompson-Clement is a 5th year Politics student and Opinions Editor of The Athenaeum

  • Ask Ellen

    Does cock size matter?

    I could tell you my preference but I think that would be too personal and wouldn’t answer your question. I do, however, think most women would agree that the size of the cock does not matter.  It is more a matter of whether or not you know how to use it and the way in which it performs. Don’t judge a book by its cover is what I always say. That being said, it depends on the woman. Some women like the feeling of a larger cock, some don’t and would prefer it not hurt every time. It all comes down to the woman and what she’s looking for, talk to her and find out what she likes with regards to sex and try to make that happen for her.

    Loneliness and isolation is the most common issue amongst the student body. I feel like the small number of friends I do have here really don’t understand me the way that my friends did back at home. How can I find friends here at Acadia that I click with?

    I have had a hard time with this myself. It’s difficult when you leave somewhere so familiar with such familiar people you have known for quite a long time, to come to a foreign place where you need to start over. If you wish to find more friends and branch out, I would recommend joining something you like to do. Enjoying what you’re doing is half the battle, because if you’re having a good time chances are the people around you will too. I used to hate when people told me to join clubs and groups at Acadia because I thought it wasn’t my thing and sounded a bit dorky but look at me now, writing advice in the school newspaper. I am new to the scene but have already met some people I never would have if I didn’t join the team and I am clicking with them already. Though lonely, try going out more, not necessarily to the Vil but there’s fun trivia nights at the Axe and Main Street has some amazing little shops and coffee joints. Your people are out there and I know you will find them. There are always new and more people to meet.

    What happens when I pull the anal beads out too fast?

    I do not know from experience, and this is not a one hundred percent guarantee, but I would say you poop. This would not be a good idea to try, might hurt quite a bit, but if that’s what you’re into then by all means, pull the shit out of those anal beads. Pun intended.

    I just came here for the second question. Who the fuck is Ellen?

    I’m a student by day, and whoever you want to be at night.

    Or

    I am your daughter.

    After ending a long-term relationship year, I started seeing someone new. He’s a great guy, but over the past few weeks I’ve realized that I still have feelings for my ex. To me, this suggests that I have to work through my feelings a little more and take some time for myself to figure out what I want. How do I end things with the new guy in a respectful manner? Should I tell him the truth about why I want to break up?

    I am a very honest person and I always believe honesty is the best policy; therefore, with this, I would definitely tell this new guy about the reason you want to break up. The worst thing to do is hold it in. This isn’t your fault, there was absolutely nothing you could do to prevent this or bring it on. Feelings are feelings and unfortunately that is the way things go. With regards to how to end things in a respectful manner: if you really like this guy and there could be a chance that you will start seeing him again down the line I would let him know that, that way at least he isn’t fully losing you. Just tell him it was too soon and your emotions hadn’t really sunk in until recently about your ex, there’s only so much a human body can handle and you need time for yourself. Time is the most important thing, you have to feel good about yourself before sharing yourself with anyone else. If this guy is really a great guy like you say then he should understand, might be hurt, but will understand. If he reacts in a way that hurts you more or makes you feel worse or causes anger, he isn’t the guy you thought he was and is not worth your time. Good luck.

    Am I addicted to sex?

    When you are addicted to something it interferes with your day to day activities and life. For example, if sex is getting in the way of going to class, walking your dog, getting assignments done on time, family, friends, sleep, you may be addicted to it. I would recommend that you see a therapist if you are seriously debating whether you are addicted to sex or anything for that matter. I am not an expert and therefore cannot give you a definite answer.

    Me and this girl like each other but I like her more than she does me. She says she can’t promise me that we will date but I want to. Should I keep trying or move on?

    Simply put, this happens a lot. If she is worth it (and I mean really worth it to you) keep trying. If she has clearly given you clues that she is not into you then move on. But if she likes you and says she can’t promise that you will date that could be for a number of reasons. They might be valid reasons OR it might be because she doesn’t know how to tell you she isn’t into you. You have to listen to the signs. To whoever this is about, stop sucking and either give the guy or girl a valid reason as to why you won’t promise a relationship or date them. To the writer of this question, you should be able to tell from her whether or not she is interested enough to keep pursuing things.

    How do you politely tell someone to shut their face hole or at least lower their voice when they tell extremely personal stories in the lib? Usually, they want you to respond with your juicy deets and I always feel uncomfortable telling secrets in the lib because we all know you can hear each other. K thanks, biiiiii.

    If this is a friend of yours, no need to be polite, just tell them to shut up and do their work cause you’re trying to do yours. If they want you to tell them some juicy deets back, just change the subject and discuss the work you’re doing in front of you. Oh yeah that sucks, but you know what else sucks, having to write a paper on the issues in American politics. I could write shit for days but I’m not actually able to write anything right now because you’re using the hole in your face to make noise and distract me with stuff I don’t give a fuck about. Or something like that. If this is about people who are sitting next to you but you don’t know them, tell them to keep it down or move the conversation elsewhere. Or if you are a shy person then get up and move to the upper levels where there is no talking. Honestly, I usually just put my headphones in because people bug me no matter what they’re talking about. K you’re welcome, biiiiii.

    How to stay positive in hard times

    This is a question I could write an entire paper on. There is no simple answer or one answer to this question. I can say that everyone goes through hard times, that is a fact, some more than others but find comfort in knowing you are not alone with this. Depending on what kind of person you are and what makes you feel better, talking about the hard times is a way to find closure and confide in others in order to get perspective and advice. Friends and family are a huge factor in how to stay positive. They can be the reason you are going through hard times but they can also be the reason to bring you out of feeling down about them. Though it will be almost impossible to get up and do things during hard times, force yourself to at least do one thing a day that will make you smile and laugh. Do things and surround yourself with things you like to do. Surround yourself with love. Dogs help me, so does Ellen DeGeneres, she makes me feel hopeful during hard times, would 150% recommend. Hang in there, though it might not seem like it will ever end, trust me I can relate, it will definitely become more positive.

    What do you think the general protocol is for liking a cute person’s instagrams? Should it be consistent to show interest? Or on and off – hard to play hard to get/cold shoulder approach? Originally, they didn’t like my posts, then recently they consistently liked lots of them, THEN skipped on a few lately. I am leaning towards just liking their posts more than not because YOLO and I’m good for the like sooooo yeah. I also feel like I am looking WAY too much into this. Help.

    Very interesting question anon. I feel as though this is a very relevant question in our technological day and age, so thank you for this. I would have to say, why the subtlety at all? Don’t hold back, if he or she is cute then they deserve those likes. Be the bro that gives someone another like, bitches love likes and that goes for guys too. Only give likes to the deserving pictures though, if they start posting some awful shit no need to chuck them a like but if that is deserving shit then reward them. Make a move dude, slide into those DM’s if you think they’re that cute that you want to see where things go. I do however think you are thinking too much into this because your answer is simple: giv’er.

    If you are struggling with anything and need some advice from an expert or professional, please seek help. There are many ways to find this, some found on campus are at the Student Health Centre.

    Keep sending in funny, serious, dire questions about sex, relationships, school, family, life etc.

    Be kind to one another,

    Ellen

  • An Arts Degree

    “You’re an arts major?” *eyebrows raised to hairline. * An arts major’s monthly, if not weekly, response to their choice of education. Anyone taking History, English, Sociology, Classics, or Political Science etc. has at least once in their lifetime of being a university student experienced the “look”. We all know this look, subtle disapproving, being eyed like we are insane – as if our choice of major is not important. “Don’t you know people who take science degrees get paid better and find jobs faster? What can you even do with an arts degree without being a teacher?” First:  what’s wrong with being a teacher? Second, sorry our passions aren’t to your approval and lastly, we will succeed. WE WILL SUCCEED. The world needs arts majors just as much as they need science or math or business.

    Saying that arts degrees are easy is some pretty serious BS. Would you find it easy to be writing multiple thousand words essays at once well having to do daily readings that take several hours? The familiarity with the text required can often mean that you need to do these readings more than once. Take history majors for example. They need to memorize dates, names, places and understand the relevance of the text. Living your life at the library constantly typing away is not unique to arts, however, it is essential for survival and not just for prosperity.

    So, for all future arts students, don’t be shy! Broadcast your major, ignore those looks. Arts degrees may not be as popular, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t take you places, lead you to good jobs, jobs that you love and will support you. After all, whether the rest world knows it or not, arts majors are needed to keep this world turning just as much as other degrees.

    If I would go back in time and give my pre-university self some advice about university schoolwork I sure would have a few things to say. Sadly, since we all know time machines have not been invented yet, ill settle for helping out future students (C.S. Lewis did regard the arts as “the best time machine we have”, just saying!).

    To my first year friends: DO NOT LEAVE READINGS TO BEFORE BED! You will never ever absorb what they are saying, let alone finish them. Sometimes it happens, understandable, but my advice is to not make a routine out of it. While your friends may be swamped with labs and it appears that you have this free time out of class – this isn’t true. Designate time slots and treat them solely for “reading” time.  Secondly, don’t be afraid of the library. All of first year I avoided it at all costs thinking it was a scary place to be. Now it’s a place I go to be social, see my friends, while “doing work”. My last piece of advice would be to back up every important piece of writing you have on something like iCloud. Arts majors type a lot of essays and assignments over the course of a semester. Just this week my laptop got soaked thanks to my water bottle and I thought I had lost three assignments that I had done. It felt like the end of the word. So people, please back up your things.

    All degrees were made equal. If you study what you love, that’s what matters!

  • How to Start Doing Independent Research In Your Undergrad

    Doing independent research in your undergraduate is a great idea. It helps you to develop strong ties to the things you will be studying and will better prepare you for the industry you are entering. Here are some tips for making the process easier:

    1. Talk to professors. Tell them about what you are passionate about and let them know ahead of time if there is something you’d like to pursue as a specific career development. The summer is a great time to do some independent studying on a topic that interests you. Most professors would love the chance to help a student learn more about their field. Take advantage of the resources that are available. Do some research on what each professor has studied, and ask them for recommendations based on their fields of specialization. This will get the conversation going and will show you how many wonderful opportunities there are to discover new things.
    2. Decide on a topic. This can happen through conversations with your professors, or through research online. Look at things that are particularly interesting in your field of study at the moment, and make a note to take more time out of your day to learn about those things. It’ll be good information to know, and will get you ahead in the industry you are preparing to enter.
    3. Ask the professor to allow you to do a not-for-credit project. This will allow you the chance to learn about format while not directly working on something that affects your grade. Professors love the chance to pass on information, and so showing this sort of interest will be good for building a relationship with your professors. Doing a defined project gives your research purpose, as well as a definite end. It will help to organize your information in a way that will be easier to access in later years, and it gives you a definite goal to reach. Organizing your information in this way will give you valuable skills for further research later on in your academic career.

    Ask your friends to keep you accountable and talk about your research with fellow classmates. Getting more people involved will motivate you to the end of your goals. Doing research can be a lot of work, but in the end it’ll be something that you won’t regret.

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