The Athenaeum

Tag: sex

  • My Real Life Nightmare

    My Real Life Nightmare

    TRIGGER WARNING Contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

    Have you ever had a nightmare? One that you wake up from just glad to know that it was all just a bad dream and that you are safe in your own bed, so you could just go back to sleep peacefully? Okay… so what happens when it is the opposite? What happens when you wake up from your ideal dreamland into the nightmare you have feared the most? What then? It’s not like you can go back to peacefully sleeping. You are no longer safe in your own room. Your safe sanctuary has turned into hell and you can’t escape from it. You are trapped. But don’t worry; this generally doesn’t happen to most people… well, except for me.

    See, for me, my sense of security was taken away from me the night of my nineteenth birthday. Like a typical newly nineteen year old, I had a little too much fun with my alcohol and was put to bed early by my mother. She believed that given the state I was in, was going to be was the safest thing to do. Little did she know that putting me to bed would result in a loss of my safety. Please note, that I do not blame my mother or anyone for the circumstance of this night. It was just a series of unfortunate events.

    I remember dreaming the best dreams. I dreamt of a house, a husband, and a house so full of pets that it practically seemed like Noah’s arc. I never got to finish that dream. Sadly, it was interrupted. By a soft breath. By sweaty hands. By shaggy hair. By the sound of “oh baby” and “yeah, you feel so good.” I wish I could remember more. I wish I didn’t just wake up to it happening. I wish I could remember how it started. But mainly, I wish I knew why it happened… why I was raped. On my birthday. With my mom and my brothers downstairs and my dad asleep in the room next to me. By a friend of my brothers, who I had known for five years. Someone I used to share classes with. One of the worst things for me is that I will never know the extent of what happened. I will never know how far he got before I was able to stop it. However, what I do remember is enough to have a significant impact on my daily life.

    I apologize to anyone uncomfortable reading this. Believe me, I had a hard time writing it. But I wanted people to take the time to think about how much we take for granted. I used to think very little about going to bed at night. I would never give a second thought to someone coming into my room and violating me while I was sleeping, but now, it’s all I can think about. I can’t sleep with the lights off, or walk alone at night anymore. That stuff has been taken away from me.

    But I have taken some things away from this too. I learned how incredible having supportive people in your life can be, and how much we can underestimate our own strength and abilities. Whenever I get overwhelmed of memories of that night, I think of my brothers holding my hand until the ambulance got there and of my oldest brother letting go of the friendship he once had with one of his closest friends and holding the bastard until the cops showed up. My mom also reminds me of my own strength whenever it all seems like too much to handle. She reminds me that I fought him off when I was coherent enough to do so and that I never let the events of that night control my life: I came back to school. I didn’t let the trauma of that night ruin the relationship I have with my boyfriend (who, by the way, has been amazing through this whole thing). I kept living my life, because if I just gave up, then he wins and I refuse to ever let that happen. I will not let some sick excuse of a human be the reason my life come crumbling down. He already had enough negative influence on my life. I will not let him take any more from me than he already had.

    Don’t get me wrong; I have some bad days (or weeks for that matter) where I can’t get out of bed, or focus long enough on my studies before my mind wanders back to the events of that night. But that’s my reality now and I have to try to learn how to balance things. It’s not ideal, but its what my life is now and I just have to learn how to adjust to it.

     

  • Orgasmic Oral

    Orgasmic Oral

    Fellatio, cunnilingus, and analingus: isn’t that a mouthful! All are technical terms for titillating tongue teasers. You may colloquially know these as “giving head,” “going down,” “rimming,” or a whole host of other oral sex descriptors. No matter what you call it, oral sex provides a variety of ways to give and receive satisfaction. However, before we discuss the more pleasurable side of these acts, let us touch on willingness, reciprocity, and health. As with any sexual interaction, all participants must be one hundred percent willing to partake at all times, and if any member wishes to take a break or stop they should not be penalized. Oral sex should be something you look forward to giving, receiving, and thinking about. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t do it. Likewise, oral should be something that is reciprocated. If you are regularly going down on your partner they should be willing to return the favour. If, for some reason, this is not the case, have a frank and open discussion with your partner as to why. Perhaps it is not something they are willing to do, in which case you must respect their wishes. However, make sure to work out an equally enjoyable action that they can perform on you, as all parties should be satisfied after each sexual encounter. If your partner is unwilling to perform oral sex for a reason other than a personal non-negotiable boundary, discuss with them how you can work through this. Maybe they find oral sex unappealing because of the smell or taste. If so, bathe the area prior to intercourse. This can be done solo or together as a fun, playful, and erotic prelude to foreplay. If your partner is unsure how to perform oral sex discuss with them what you would like. Have them try different methods on you while you provide judgment-free feedback during and after the event. Oral sex should be fun for everyone, and you can always experiment to incorporate new actions into your repertoire.

    As with any sexual activity, awareness of associated health issues is paramount. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be transmitted orally from mouth to the genitals/anus and vice versa. The most commonly transmitted oral-genital/anal STIs include chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes simplex virus types 1 and 2, human papillomavirus (HPV), and human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). To protect yourself and your partners from STI transmission, always have an open and honest conversation about STIs prior to engaging in any sexual act. Use a condom, dental dam or other barrier method. Get regular STI testing. If you are participating in analingus, remember that STI transmission to the genitals is a possibility, and many bacterial diseases are also passed on via the fecal-oral route. This risk can be reduced by washing the anal region prior to oral, using a dental dam or other barrier method, and avoiding performing unprotected fellatio or cunnilingus immediately afterwards.

    Once you have taken willingness, reciprocity, and health into consideration, you can proceed to give and receive fellatio, cunnilingus, and analingus. After oral intercourse you can sanitize the oral cavity by rinsing with an antibacterial mouthwash or oral antiseptic. However, use caution if brushing your teeth immediately after, as the bristles may cause small cuts in your gums, permitting contaminant transmission. Now, let’s get down to this orgasmic oration on oral intercourse.

    Fellatio (from the Latin fellāre, to suck) is the technical term for blowjob. Have you ever wondered why it’s called a blowjob? Although there is no one reliable etymology, many competing reasons abound. “Blowjob” could be a derivation of the 1940s jazz expression “to blow,” meaning to play an instrument with some skill using the mouth. Further, it could be a holdover from the Victorian-era, when the slang term for prostitute was “blowsy,” and slang for blowjob was “below-job.” Over time these terms evolved into today’s blowjob. It could also have come about as a facetious use of “blow” as the opposite of “suck,” or as a descriptor of the volcanic final result. Whatever the route, the expression was in colloquial use by the 1950s. Much of the confusion surrounding this term comes from the action itself. Fellatio rarely, if ever, involves blowing. More often, giving head consists of one partner sucking the penis of another. As every individual has their own personal preference, make sure to discuss with your partner how they would like to be pleasured, and always have fun with your actions. Remember, swallowing is a personal choice, and if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, don’t.

    Cunnilingus (from the Latin words cunnus, vulva, and lingua, tongue) is a less frequently discussed form of oral sex. Also known as “eating out,” cunnilingus involves oral stimulation of the vulva (consisting of the clitoris, labia, and vaginal canal). If you want to be a cunning linguist, keep in mind that 18% of women prefer oral to achieve orgasm and 75% of women require direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings on the glans alone (in comparison the penis has 4,000), which connect to a network of 15,000 nerve endings in the pelvic region. Over three-fourths of the clitoral body is internal, although stimulation can occur via contact with the external glans, located under the clitoral hood. If you are unsure where to start try the “alphabet technique.” This method involves writing out the alphabet with your tongue on the vulva, focusing on and around the clitoris. Repeat any letters your partner enjoys, and pay attention to their body language and vocalizations for feedback. As with any sexual act, communication is key. Ask what your partner does and does not like, have them tell you what to do next, and let them physically direct your movements by either moving their hips against you or placing their hand on your head. As no two women are the same, make sure you are in constant communication with your partner in regards to speed and pressure. Due to the hypersensitivity of an aroused clitoris (remember those nerve endings and pelvic neural networks) start with a gentle caress of the area, working up to harder more direct stimulation as arousal builds. Keep in mind that some sensations may be too strong, and always be willing to decrease the pressure.

    Analingus (from the Latin anus, ring, and lingere, to lick), commonly referred to as “rimming” or “salad tossing,” is an oral-anal sex act in which one partner’s mouth, lips or tongue contact the anus or perineum (space between the ass and genitals) of another. As with any act, analingus requires discussion with your partner prior to engagement. If your partner is willing to try analingus, but decides during the act that it is not for them, respect their wishes and do not pressure them to continue. If you are practicing analingus always clean the area thoroughly with soap and water prior to any oral contact, as many bacterial diseases are passed on via the fecal-oral route. Internal cleansing can be preformed, but is not required. If you will be cleansing internally make sure you are aware of all health and safety concerns associated with this practice. External preparations can involve pubic hair maintenance, however this is a personal preference, as no one has the right to tell you how to treat your body. Nonetheless, hair-back-there can trap fecal particles, leading to potential health risks for your partner. If you are expecting a rim job, trim, shave, or wax the area prior to engagement. If this is just not your style, make sure you give the area an extra thorough clean, and do not be offended if you partner declines to participate. Protective layers, such as dental dams or a condom cut in half, can help prevent the spread of infection, intestinal parasites, bacteria, viruses, or diseases. Always remember to sterilize anything that has been in contact with the anal region prior to placing it into or near the vaginal canal. Failure to do so could lead to vaginal bacterial infections, such as vaginitis and cystitis. Once the requisite health concerns have been appropriately addressed, try slowly working your way towards to anal region and gently separate the glutes for easier access. As with any sex act, there is no one successful formula. Communicate with your partner about what they like, show your enthusiasm, and, most importantly, enjoy!

    Fellatio, cunnilingus, and analingus. Willingness, reciprocity, and health. Good things come in threes and now, so can you.

  • Good Vibrations

    Good Vibrations

    Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Whether incorporated into solo or partner based play, vibrators have been causing a buzz for years. Today’s vibrators are easy to purchase, come in a variety of colours, shapes, materials, and sizes, and are popularly endorsed by many TV shows. However, things weren’t always this way.

    Historically, vibrators were created as a “cure for women’s hysteria.” This diagnosis was given to almost any ailment, including insomnia and nervousness. Early vibes were large steam-powered massage machines, and their invention came about when Victorian-era doctors tired of providing manual stimulation to female patients to cure them of “hysterical paroxysms.” At a time when female sexuality was a taboo topic, this “pelvic massage” method was simply viewed by doctors as a medical cure, with no sexual connotations. The pelvic massage method of relief was so popular and effective that it was only a matter of time before smaller hand-cranked mechanical and electrical vibrators were unveiled for home use, thus making the vibrator the fifth electrical appliance introduced to the home (after the sewing machine, fan, tea kettle, and toaster).

    A climate heavy with denial surrounding female sexuality may not seem ideal for vibrator sales, however it was strangely beneficial. Vibrator usage was viewed as a medical treatment, creating an atmosphere that led women to feel comfortable purchasing and using their vibrator in the comfort and privacy of their home. However, this outlook was not to last forever. In the 1920s pornography started to feature “personal massagers” and vibrators, and the jig was up. Vibrators, which had previously been available for purchase anywhere by anyone, disappeared from store shelves.

    Despite a lack of availability, women were not deterred. During this time electric toothbrush sales soared, and by the 1950s vibrating massagers for woman became popular for everything from spot reducers to weight loss. Once more women could buy vibrators without reproach, and by the 1960’s feminists reintroduced the vibrator as a symbol of female sexuality. From the 1980’s onwards vibrator sales have buzzed along, and today, approximately 52% of Canadian woman report having used a vibrator. In fact, with vibrators available on the shelves of Wal-Mart and Shoppers, easy and discreet purchasing available online, and a wide variety of sex shops in most cities, purchase has never been easier.

    However, what if you fall in the 48% who have never used a vibrator? Perhaps you are just not comfortable with the idea, you never knew how to go about purchasing one, or you never thought of the variety of mental and physical benefits often associated with vibrator use. Victorian-era doctors prescribing sexual stimulation as a cure for hysteria might actually have been onto something. A 2009 study found that the 52 percent of American women who used a vibrator tended to be physically and psychologically healthier than those who didn’t.

    So, you want to know what the buzz is all about. If you’re a vibrator newbie, the first step is to determine which one is right for you. If you are worried about discretion, vibrators are available in a wide range of non-assuming shapes, such as rubber ducks, lipstick tubes, and shower loofas. For your first vibrator look for one offering an external stimulation feature, as 75% of women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation. In fact, 84% of users rely on their vibe for this purpose. Look for something relatively small, with different speeds or settings, and the ability to be recharged or have the batteries changed out. Although the temptation is to go cheap (and I would advise not buying the most expensive vibe out there your first time in the saddle), keep in mind that cheaper products are often lower quality, leading to a shorter product lifespan.

    As you increase your comfort level, perhaps try a G-spot penetration vibrator. Penetrative vibes can be purchased to provide internal and external stimulation, and come in a variety of shapes for use with your partner. If shopping for a vibrator primarily for penetration-based play, look for one that is smooth (without any painful sharp edges) and made of a material that won’t absorb bodily fluids. If you are using your toy for penetration, keep in mind oil-based lubes are not sex toy friendly, and silicone-based lubes shouldn’t be used with silicone-based toys. However, silicone-based lubes do work well with harder material toys, such as hard plastics, aluminum, or steel. If unsure, your best bet is water-based lubricants, as these are safe for use with silicone-based toys and latex condoms.

    As mentioned, vibrators need not only be used solo. Try using one on your partner, or have them use one on you. Vibrating cock-rings can be a fun hands-free option, and cheap ones are available in local drug stores. Vibrating nipple clamps can also be purchased for added stimulation during play. Next time you’re in Halifax, check out Venus Envy, which carries a wide variety of toys. If you’re uncomfortable purchasing sex toys in person, try looking online. Sites like pinkcherry.ca often have sales, and provide discrete to-the-door shipping. As always, make sure you’re buying from a reputable site, look up reviews on your toy of choice, and check for discreet shipping options. If you plan on travelling with your new toy, make sure to check regulations at your destination. Some locations, including India, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Thailand, the United Arab Emirates, and even Alabama, prohibit sex toys.

    Remember, it doesn’t matter if you’re using it at home or abroad, solo or with a partner, or if it’s your first toy or an old favorite, always sterilize sex toys after use. You can do this by cleaning them with warm soapy water, or buying a pre-made sex toy cleaner. Most non-motorized toys can be sterilized in boiling water, and motorized toys can be wiped down with a 10 to 1 water-to-bleach solution. When you are done using your battery-operated vibrator, take out the batteries, as leaving them in leads to the risk of your vibe turning on and running the motor down, not to mention some awkward questions about the source of buzzing noises! If you are leaving your vibe alone for extended periods, you also run the risk of the batteries corroding and destroying your toy, so remove them during periods of inactivity. It’s best to store silicone toys in a dry and sealed container, as silicone tends to attract lint and dust.

    So, use, enjoy, clean, and repeat! Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

  • Confessions: The Sex Edition

    Confessions: The Sex Edition

    Personally, I have acquired a sense of humor for embarrassing events. Embarrassing events that are shared publicly as well as for those shared privately. For this month’s issue, I figured it would be candid to find stories from anonymous individuals willing to publically share their embarrassing and humorous sex stories. The purpose of this confessional is to shed light and normalize the typically awkward topic of sex, as well as the embarrassing moments that often come with it!

    Mattresses Are Just For Camping

    “I was hooking up with someone on a blow-up mattress and needless to say it was extremely loud and all of his roommates heard” (Female, 22)

    Awkward Innocence

    “The first time I tried “doggy style” I had to stop and ask if it was anal because I wasn’t sure what to do.” (Female, 20)

    Friends With Benefits?

    “I hooked up with someone, but when I met her it was dark. I had to leave early in the morning so I did not get to see who she was. A few weeks later I was chatting with her at a coffee shop and my friend later informed me that she was the girl I had hooked up with – awkward!” (Male, 22)

    You Are Not My Personal Trainer

    “I was told to “push myself” while giving head. All I could think was no thanks, I am not your personal trainer.” (Female, 21)

    I’ll Knock Next Time

    “I needed something from my mom so I went into her room. Let’s just say it was poor timing and I saw more than I ever wanted to.” (Male, 24)

    Grapefruits Are Just For Eating

    “After learning about the hilariously educational grapefruit method, my boyfriend and I decided to give it a shot. I could barely keep it together while I cut out a hole in the fruit, to be used while performing oral sex on my boyfriend. While a good idea in theory, the actual execution of the method was a total fail considering we couldn’t stop laughing the entire time.” (Female, 22)

    Strobe Lights Are Not a Girl’s Best Friend

    “I was hooking up with a guy. He had strobe lights flashing and Eminem blasting the entire time. Needless to say I got out of there as quickly as I could.” (Female, 19)

  • The New New Workout Plan

    In 2004, Kanye did women everywhere a huge solid and introduced us to The New Workout Plan. It was never easier to snag yourself a rapper or NBA player (or at least a dude with a car). All you had to do was: a) give head, b) stop, c) breathe, d) get up, and e) check your weave. But times have changed. We need a newer workout plan. We need one that’s a bit more comprehensive so we don’t feel the brutal effects of Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness the next day. We need one that corresponds with all of the positions you know and love. So step aside, Kanye. There’s a new new workout plan.

    You know that stupid crab walk relay that you always had to do in phys. ed.? Do you remember how excruciatingly tiring that was? Do you remember collapsing when you got halfway across the gym? And yet, somehow, whenever you’re riding cowgirl, you always end up in the fucking crab-walk position. It always seems like a good idea at the time. “Oh yeah,” you think to yourself. “I’ve got this.” And, for the first minute or so, you do. You are a porn-star/sex-goddess! But then it happens. You start to feel the burn in your upper arms. You ignore it. You are capable of this. Well, you would be if you had any measurable upper body strength whatsoever. This means that you’re going to want to incorporate some triceps dips and shoulder presses into this workout. And lots of them. Unless you want to relive those painful memories of your arms giving out during your crab walk. Only this time, instead of collapsing in front of your grade 8 phys. ed. classmates, you’re collapsing in front of the hot guy you brought home from the Vil. Or more accurately, on top of him.

    Speaking of girl-on-top, your hip flexors are also going to need some serious attention. If you’ve woken up with a case of the shaky-legs, it’s a sign of a night well-spent (props), but it’s also kind of a bitch unless you plan on avoiding stairs for the rest of the day. Limber up with some lunge stretches. Your hip flexors will thank you.

    As we all know, flexibility is of the utmost importance. So do yourself a favour and get into some yoga. Bonus points for hot yoga, which will more realistically simulate you trying to bend yourself into a sexy, sweaty pretzel. This will be especially helpful if you’re hooking up with a guy who thinks that all girls can just casually throw their legs over a dude’s shoulders without pulling a muscle. As if. And I’m sure you can use your imagination to figure out why it’s also a good idea to practice downward dog. Besides downward dog, you can prepare yourself to get it from behind by practicing cow pose (on all fours, with your stomach pushed towards the mattress). I can understand if you don’t want to call it “cow pose” though. It’s already weird enough to picture yourself as a doggy when you’re having sex, let alone a cow.

    Abs are another key player when you’re getting freaky. Notice that your oblique muscles are sore in the morning? That’s probably because you were using them to hold yourself up while you were sexy-spooning your brains out last night. Some Russian twists with a medicine ball will fix you right up. And don’t forget your crunches! Those abdominals are going to come in handy when you’re on the receiving end of some oral action and you have to sit up to deliver directions and/or encouragement.

    Finally, as for shower sex, I don’t really know what to tell you. You need all of your stabilizing muscles to be on point for that shit. Maybe try a Bosu balance ball or something. Only in order for this exercise to actually simulate shower sex, maybe try balancing on it in the pouring rain while trying to dodge a million falling shampoo bottles at the same time. That should do the trick.

  • Contraception

    Contraception

     Contraception, colloquially known as birth control, has a long and strange history. Women in ancient Egypt would vaginally insert into themselves a mixture of honey and crocodile dung to prevent pregnancy, concubines in ancient China would drink lead and mercury, women in Persia were advised to jump backwards seven to nine times post coitus, and Greek gynecologists recommended that women hold their breath during sex and sneeze immediately afterwards to expel sperm. These methods fell out of favour as scientific progress advanced, and today a wide variety of more effective methods are employed. Yet, with so many options to choose from, it can be difficult to pick the best one for you.Today, over 85% of Canadians report using contraception at some point in their lives, and condoms are one of the oldest methods still employed. Illustrations of condoms date back as far as 15,000 years ago and legends from 3000 BCE describe goat bladder use. We have come a long way from goat bladders to today’s latex and polyurethane. Today’s condoms, when used consistently and correctly, are 98% effective (percentages represent the number out of every 100 women who do not get pregnant after one year of correct use). Condoms are cheap, easy to obtain, can be made into dental dams, and are one of the few readily available contraceptive methods to provide a nearly impermeable barrier to STIs. The condom’s major flaws are primarily user based. Issues include removing the condom too soon, putting the condom on too late, opening the condom package with a sharp object, using an oil-based lubricant, or using an expired or improperly stored condom (such as one stored in a wallet).

    Other easily accessible contraceptives available to men include spermicides, which can have an 80% success rate when used alone; and the “pull-out” method. This method can be up to 96% effective, but has an increased risk of pregnancy through contact with pre-ejaculatory fluid, and does not protect against STIs. Men who rely on the pull-out method must be able to detect an approaching orgasm and withdraw prior to ejaculation. If this is used as the primary form of birth control, and the man fails to pull out prior to ejaculation, there is a 20-85% chance of the woman getting pregnant during her cycle.

    For women, the most well-known and commonly used method is the birth control pill. This contraceptive is an estrogen and progesterone based pill, and if taken daily at the same time can be 99% effective against pregnancy. The primary reason for failure results from the pill not being taken daily at the same time. The pill also regulates and treats heavy menstrual cycles, PMS, endometriosis, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), acne, anemia, and may decrease the risk of endometrial and ovarian cancer. However, the pill may have side effects like nausea, breast tenderness, headaches, weight gain, mood changes, missed periods, decreased libido, joint pain, decreased bone density, an increased risk of cardiovascular side effects such as heart attacks, strokes, and blood clots, and may increase the risk of breast, cervical, and liver cancer.

    Other hormonal methods available to women include hormonal intrauterine devices (IUDs) like Mirena and Skyla, which offer 99% effectiveness and can be in place from three to five years, the NuvaRing, which can be up to 99% effective, and the birth control implant. The birth control implant is a small matchstick sized hormonal capsule inserted into the woman’s arm. Over a three-year period it releases progestin, and has a 99.95% success rate. All hormonal methods include similar deleterious side effects to the birth control pill.

    If you feel uncomfortable using a primarily hormone based contraceptive, the copper IUD may be for you. Much like a hormonal IUD, this small copper T is inserted into the uterus. Once in place it can be 99% effective for anywhere from five to ten years. Side effects may include heavier and more painful periods. Female condoms are another non-hormonal method that can result in a 95% success rate when used correctly, and provide basic STI protection. Much like the male condom their failure rate stems mainly from improper use. However, female condoms can be expensive at $4 a condom, difficult to find, and uncomfortable for the woman. Diaphragms may also be employed. These thin silicon domes are placed over the cervix to prevent sperm entry. When used with spermicides, diaphragms have a 94% success rate and can help stop the spread of some STIs. The rhythm method, or fertility awareness method, is a contraceptive method employed by the woman, who tracks her menstrual cycle to determine ovulation and her peak fertility. She then abstains from sex during these days. When used correctly the rhythm method can be up to 87% effective. If for any reason your birth control fails you, Plan B is a non-prescription emergency contraceptive available at most pharmacies and health clinics.

    If you are looking to start a new contraceptive method, change over from an existing method, get STI testing, need pregnancy guidance, or have questions about access to abortion information, there are a variety of clinics around the valley and Halifax area to choose from. In Wolfville, both Acadia Student Health Services and Mud Creek Medical Co-op offer Pap tests, STI testing, and a variety of contraceptive options. In Kentville, the Red Door also offers these services and in Halifax, the Halifax Sexual Health Center (formerly Planned Parenthood) provides similar services. Acadia also offers free condoms in all residences, the Peer Support Lounge, and through Student Health Services.

    Hopefully this article helps make your only post-sex concern how soon you can do it again.

  • The Morning After

    The Morning After

    The man awoke at dawn from the profound slumber which could be born only of complete satisfaction. He stared up at the stucco ceiling for a moment to get his bearings, then turned his head slightly to the right. She was facing away from him, but he could see the tangle of long, blonde hair. He smiled.

    He silently slipped from the bed, barely disturbing the light cotton sheet as it lay across the pale curve of her shoulder. It was a large sleigh bed, conspicuously out of place in what was otherwise a modestly furnished apartment. He suspected it had been the gift of a family member, perhaps an aunt or grandmother. Otherwise, the apartment perfectly met the dichotomy of whimsical and serious which was effortlessly achieved by a young grad student. He walked over to a shelf on the bedroom wall: a teddy bear; a picture with friends, possibly rock climbing; a picture of Freud smoking a cigar. From there he walked to the window. The curtains were soft, a light cream with a pastel flower print. He gently pulled them tighter to shut out the morning sun which was already beginning to fall across her face, except where his dark form cast a shadow.

    He reveled in the early morning and preferred the solitude of his own mind. Coffee would be good, but it could wait a while. Aimlessly, he wandered over to her desk – a small, pale IKEA item in keeping with the general tone of the place, far more so than the elegant bed. There was a laptop open on the surface, together with scattered papers and an open textbook, its pages decorated with yellow and pink highlighter. He lifted the edge of the book to see its title. Abnormal Psychology. His gaze lingered on some of the highlighted passages. He smiled again. The innocent striving to understand the monsters of the world.

    He peered into the main room of the apartment; again, it was sparsely furnished, yet cheerful and pleasant. The modest kitchen included a full-sized refrigerator, covered with photos, mementos, and other evidence of a life enjoyed. Rather than a couch there were a futon and a couple of mismatched chairs, all in subtle, spring-like tones and all working well together, in spite of their basic differences. There was a small television in the corner, but it was clearly not the focus of the room. Magazines on the coffee table pointed once again to the complex nature of the apartment’s resident. Scholarly reading was mixed with sports and fashion. She was clearly intelligent; he could attest that she was athletic, and yet, at heart, she was a young woman in search of her identity.

    He made his way to the small washroom, neat and tidy except for the cornucopia of chemicals and products on the counter by the sink. He thought of her sparkling blue eyes, the slightly crooked yet radiant smile, the soft skin. She didn’t need all of these beauty products, he decided. She would be stunning even without them. He felt truly enriched to have met her, a fortuitous chance encounter he would treasure.

    He looked into the mirror and stretched, then smiled widely once more. It had been too long since he had allowed himself such complete release. A night of passion and magic, after which the dawn had come all too soon.

    “I wonder what her name was,” he pondered, absently, as he began to wash the blood from his hands.

  • Sexual Assault: A Response

    In the definition of the law, assault is any action which has intent to apprehend and/or harm an individual unlawfully. Sexual assault, by this definition, is any action which has intent to apprehend and/or harm an individual in an unwarranted and unwanted sexual manner. On September 4th an Acadia University student named Phillip Shawn Herman, a Bermudan national and Musical Education student, was charged with sexual assault following an incident two days prior. The incident took place on the grounds of Acadia University’s campus and was responded to by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police at 1 o’clock in the morning, September 2nd. As a result of his charge and impending court date, Shawn Herman has been ordered to refrain from contacting the victim, and has been ordered to “keep the peace”, i.e. to refrain from further illegal activities. This is good, and this is just. The fact that this incident was reported and responded to promptly reflects greatly on the condition of our justice and legal system, and how quickly those who are tasked with defending us do so. It also shows the great bravery shown by the young women who did report and results of campaigns like the “Know/No More campaign” on our campus raising awareness and promoting education of gender inequity and sexual health and safety. What is unfortunate, however, is that the resources available to all of us are currently in the dark. Resource centers, hotlines, university faculty groups (such as the Acadia Student Resource Center, the Women’s, Pride, and Peer Resource Centers, etc.), and much, much more are all available at the tips of our fingers and are at times scarcely used. At the end of this article will be a list of valuable local and national resources.

    According to Statistics Canada 91% of sexual assaults are not reported to authorities, or are not reported in a timely manner. This leaves an overwhelming gap in the midst of the assault cases that are reported. This is a somber statistic, but it is a wrenchingly true one. Fear of further incidents, fear of social stigma, and a general lack of knowledge of the resources available all contribute to this rate of unreported assault.

    As part of an investigative piece done by CBC’s News series investigative statistics show that reports for sexual assaults on university campuses are startlingly low. On a nationwide scale Ryerson University holds the highest amount of reported sexual assault cases, with 57 cases reported over a five year period. When the statistics are adjusted to population Acadia University holds the highest, with 22 reported cases over the four and a half year span of the study. Although the reporting of these incidents is crucial in addressing them, the issue at hand is still the existence of the acts of assault and those who commit them.

    Last March the Know/No More campaign was launched by members of the Acadia University community as a means of raising awareness for the ordeals faced by those affected by sexual assault and discrimination. The base contingency plan of the campaign was to help eradicate the stigma that presents itself to those affected by these attacks and to raise awareness of a number of social justices. Although the Know More campaign focuses on more than just sexual assault and its victims, it is a great campaign that makes sense of the injustices of sexual assault.

    Although I have no sociological credentials and I am not overtly knowledgeable in the laws and procedures of crime and punishment, I believe that any act of attrition such as sexual assault is unacceptable in a society that is as stable and as just as ours. With ample time I hope the victim of this incident is able to get the help that they need, and that the perpetrator is tried before the courts in a true and confident way. As mentioned before, below is a non-exhaustive list of free, reliable, and confidential resources that can be contacted at any time.

    Look after each other, dear readers. The future is bright.

    Andrew Haskett

    Editor-in-Chief, the Athenaeum

    *Below is a list of dependable and professional resources that are available to anybody who needs them, free of charge.

    • Acadia University Peer, Pride, and Women’s Centres – 2nd floor of the Acadia SUB building, 2nd door down from the front entrance stairwell.
    • Acadia University Student Resource Center (online) <http://counsel.acadiau.ca/Sexual_Assault.html>
    • Residence Life -P: (902) 585-1417 | F: (902) 585-1093 | E: [email protected]
    • RCMP Detachments: 1-800-803-7267
    • Kids Help Phone, please call 1-800-668-6868, or visit KidsHelpPhone.ca <http://org.kidshelpphone.ca/en/contact/>.
    • To apply for an Emergency Protection Order, please call 1-866-816-6555
    • Nova Scotia Victim Service :Kentville Telephone: (902) 679-6201
      Fax: (902) 679-6192
      Crisis Line: (800) 565-1805
      gov.ns.ca/just/victim_services/default.asp
      http://www.gov.ns.ca/just/victim_Services/default.asp

    Contact us: Red Door Society
    We can be reached at (902) 679-1411 or [email protected]. You can drop-in
    or call/email to make an appointment. Remember, your personal information
    will be kept confidential!

  • FDA Approves Female “Viagra”: Pleasure or Profit?

    FDA Approves Female “Viagra”: Pleasure or Profit?

    A new drug is set to hit the U.S. markets on October 17th. Commonly referred to as “female Viagra,” Addyi, generic name flibanserin, is the first FDA-approved drug to target female sexual dysfunction. However, this label is misleading; Addyi is vastly different than the male sexual enhancement drugs currently on the market. Additionally, the heavy marketing campaigns backed by drug companies have many sex physicians wondering whether the push for approval was in the interest of pleasure or profit.

    The FDA approved Addyi for premenopausal women with hypoactive sexual desire disorder, a condition classified by lack of sexual appetite that causes emotional distress. There is much debate over whether women who are experiencing low sexual libido require medical intervention. In many instances sex therapy and sex education may be a more appropriate remedy.

    Previous efforts aimed at treating female sexual difficulties focused on biological functions such as blood flow and hormones the way Viagra works, however they were proven unsuccessful. Addyi is different, in that it alters the brain chemistry of the patient, affecting mood, appetite, and overall functions to “boost” sexual desire in women. Addyi is not a “take as needed” medication. It requires prolonged daily usage over 4-8 weeks in order to see benefits.

    Owned by Sprout pharmaceutical, the drug has previously been rejected twice by the FDA due to mediocre results and substantial side effects. Addyi will require stringent safety warnings concerning the risk of combining the drug with alcohol as well as certain other prescription medicines, which can cause dangerously low blood pressure and fainting. Additional side effects include nausea, drowsiness, and dizziness. Trials have shown that prolonged use may result in an increase in the number of satisfying sexual events. However, women in these trials reported on average only one extra sexually gratifying experience each month. Lackluster results such as these suggest that Addyi may not be the revolutionary remedy some women seek, and further, may not be worth the side effects.I noticed this platform mentioned in a discussion earlier coinsinvest.

    Controversy around the pill exists not only due to risks stated above, but also because of the immense pressure on the FDA from pharmaceutical companies. Said companies took to the public to demand the FDA “even the score,” citing the discrepancies that exist between male and female sexual enhancement drugs to be a women’s rights issue. This campaign did gain support, despite its speculations of being put forth with drug companies’ interests in mind.

    So will Addyi “even the score”? Opinions are mixed between physicians and sex clinicians alike. The question remains to be not whether women deserve equal opportunity to desire and enjoy sex but instead whether Addyi is suitable. It may be a while before we can see Addyi on Canadian shelves. If we do, this is a decision that will likely be influenced by the success rates in the United States’ “test run.”

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